A Fall From Grace
by IlluminatedM
Summary: After years of being on her own and suffering from the abandonment of the Cullens, Bella runs head first into the one vampire she never thought she'd see again. LEMONS THROUGHOUT. . . Story has been Re-vamped No pun intended . Read and Review, and I will love you forever! As Always, :3 Momo
1. A Message to My Readers

**This was my very first story, and it means the world to me. I was going through such a tough time when I wrote this, and I must say that the writing itself didn't come out amazingly, but I really like the story, so I'm going to go through and rewrite them. Maybe some of the plot will change a bit, but mostly I'm doing this for me. **

**Thank you to every amazing reader and reviewer that this story had. Truly, it was amazing to have all of your opinions, and I love each and every one of you!**

**Feel free to Re-Read and Re-Review if you so desire. All my love, Momo.**


	2. Hero in Disguise

**A/N: Well, this is my first edited chapter, and I'd like to say that I am fairly proud of it. It's pretty short, but I threw in some really good detail that was lacking before.**

At eight pm, I found myself hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock for the second time, but i wasn't having any of that. The incessant ringing was driving me half mad before I actually got out of bed.

_Happy birthday to me.._I thought as I showered… _Wow, twenty two already? It's been four years already? Four years, the abandonment of a boyfriend and a family, and three dead parents. Happy fucking birthday to me._

I shook the thoughts away as the water massaged my neck, and after a good ten minutes I got out of the shower and got "dressed" for work.

The Pink Kitty was definitely one of the worst places to work in this drop-hole of a city, and I guess that explains why I worked there. No ID checks, no questions asked. Nobody asked how old you were, where you came from, or why you were there because, honestly, nobody actually gave a shit. Bartending three to six nights a week, of course, wasn't the worst job I could possibly have had. However, it definitely has its moments.

Getting into what was referred to as my "uniform", I layered on my makeup to insure nobody would recognize me. I still find it hard to grasp the concept that booty shorts, a glittery bra, and stilettos were genuinely referred to as a uniform. Grabbing my back pack, I headed out the door to the bus stop. As always, I ended up sitting next to the half dead drunk who thought groping me would be funny. I slammed my heel down on his foot and continued on my way.

A half hour later I was standing in front of my place of employment, checking my watch. _Oh good, 10:30. Just on time._I threw my bag behind the bar and started pouring shots when I saw Lizz running up to me. "We don't have anybody to fill in for Rochelle till four.. I need you Izzy!"

Rochelle, one of the... let's call them _dancers..._was out sick at least three days out of the week. Although pole dancing was never exactly in my job description, I tended to fill in for her. Hey, never complain about having more money in your pocket.

An hour and a half, and a lot less clothing later, I stepped down from the platform only to hear Lizz announce that "Izzy" would be giving "personal dances" for a discount price of twenty dollars plus tip. Shooting her the death glare, I went to my first dancee of the night, some scumbag with a wedding ring. He probably had a sweet little wife and a handful of kids waiting for him to come home, but I didn't give two shits about it at the time.

All went well for that first song, the guy was decent and he didn't try to get my number or grope me, but when I straddled Richard, a regular, I was less then pleased. For one thing, stripper or not, I'm no home-wrecker and he had a sweet wife, Lucy, who I actually knew fairly well. Yes, I know that contradicts what I just told you about not giving a shit, but I knew Lucy, and she was a damn good woman. Had he ever actually asked her, she'd probably give him dances herself. Secondly, Rich had always had an issue with the "Hands Off" rule. The song ended, and I was about to climb off when I felt him tangle his hand in my hair. Annoyed, I tried to pull away, only to find him attempting to press his lips to mine. I never had "Pretty Woman Syndrome", but I sure as hell didn't plan on letting Rich kiss me. So, I brought my knee down as hard as I could, and as it connected with his groin, I felt his grip on my hair slip. I was walking away as fast as I possibly could, until I was jerked back and felt Richard's fist connect with my cheekbone.

I fell to the ground in pain as I heard Rich cry out. My guess at the time was that some bystander wanted to play Hero for the night; they punched him.

"Izzy! What the hell happened?" I hear Lizz shout from across the room, but I couldn't find the strength in me to open my mouth and respond.

I felt the suddenly familiar sensation of ice cold arms wrap around me as I heard a smooth voice speak to me. "Bella? Bella, are you alright? Isabella, answer me!"

Shock hit me in a heavy wave as I looked up into a familiar pair of honey golden eyes.


	3. The City of Surprises

**A/N: This is the second of my re-vamped chapters, and I don't really know how I feel about it yet. For you original readers, I sincerely promise that while I may tweak the plot, I will keep all of the emotion from the original story! Read and Review/Rereview **

**JPOV**

If there's any city in the U.S. that can keep a vampire entertained for twenty four hours straight, it's definitely Las Vegas, Nevada. It was one in the morning. and nobody was giving me a second glance for being out roaming the streets. It was, honestly, a blessing. I needed to feel in my own element for once, although it probably wasn't a good idea to move to one of the sunniest places in the country.

After visiting just about every casino in town, I stumbled upon a trashy little dump with a neon pink sign that flashed the words "Pink Kitty", and even though the lights were an eye sore, I decided walk in. Instantly hit with a familiar floral scent. _It couldn't be. Bella Swan would NEVER be in a place like this. Charlie would simply not allow it._

But there was no way to be mistaken- as I approached the stage, I saw the "New" Bella, and my jaw hit the floor. Clad in nothing but tall black heels and dark blue lingerie, Isabella Marie Swan spun around a neon pink pole. I could feel knee-buckling lust shooting off of everybody in the room, but I was blinded with rage at what happened next. A little girl who was definitely no more than sixteen hopped up on the stage and announced "Izzy" would be giving discount lap dances. _Izzy? What the fuck?_I didn't fully realize who she was referring to, until I saw Bella straddle an ominous looking man in the center of the room.

I clenched my fists down as I watched her do the same to a different customer a song or two later. I noticed her waving off his unwanted advances and, in an attempt to get free, kneed him in the groin. She started to run from him just as he turned her around and punched her just below her left eye. Not caring if I was inhumanly quick about doing so, I stood between my Bella and this strange man. I thought I'd be able to keep my rage in check, but the grin on his face as he watched Bella fall to the floor blinded me. I threw my fist into his nose without regulating the power behind it, and I heard his nose make a sickening series of crunches. He screamed in pain, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I dropped to the ground and called to Bella, but when our eyes connected she fainted. The teenaged stripper from earlier approached me holding a bag that reeked of Bella's scent.

"Who the heck are you?"

"I'm Jasper, an old friend of Bell..er.. Izzy's". I told her.

I felt the lust rolling off of her like sweat and couldn't help but gag. I have certainly never been interested in adolescents.

"Whatever, just make sure she gets home alright. Tell her not to come in tomorrow unless there isn't a bruise. And you, Sugar, can call me whenever you feel like it." She winked and handed me the bag along with a piece of paper. I nodded and threw the paper on the ground as I made my way out the door.

After about a mile of walking at human speed, I came to the realization that I had absolutely no idea where she lived. I sat down on a curb and rummaged through her pack. I found makeup, a Band Aid or two, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes.

_She smokes?_

I ignored how much it bothered me and got back to the task at hand. There was no form of identification, and my house was out in Miskeete. I heard whistles and felt a spike in lust from across the street when I noticed, finally, that Bella was not properly dressed. I undid my button up shirt and wrapped her in it just as she started to stir.

"Jasper," she said as she looked into my eyes.

I opened my mouth to respond and was immediately cut off by her telling me, "I don't give a fuck why you're here, and I don't care how long you're staying. If you don't hand me my cigarettes and a lighter in the next five seconds I will rip you apart and burn the pieces myself."

My jaw dropped, but I managed to get her what she asked for in the time allotted.

"Care to tell me where you live '_**Izzy**_'?" I asked her.

"Hey, listen here, asshole, I don't need you judging me. As if you're any fucking better. 1387 Martin Luther Blvd." She replied bitingly."

"Yes, your majesty." was all I could say in response.

A half hour late she was lighting another cigarette, and we were almost to her house.

"Hey, super-speed vampire. Care to tell me why I could've been home twenty minutes ago, and yet you're walking like my grandmother?"

I couldn't believe how hostile she was being towards me, and for the first time that night I realized I couldn't read her emotions.

"Well, I didn't want to have to ask the Addicted Human to put out her cyanide stick, but since you've decided to throw politeness out the window…" I grabbed her cigarette and threw it to the ground; I began to run.

Five seconds later I arrived in front of a run-down looking apartment building.

"Top floor, second to last door on the right Jasper." She said, and it didn't escape my notice that she winced in pain with every movement of her face.

I jumped to the fourth floor landing and set her down in front of her door. She reached forward and turned the handle, and it creaked open.

"Well, I assume you didn't hunt me down for nothing, so I might as well hear you out." She gestured for me to enter, and as I did, I noticed a small kitchen area, and a fold out couch, but nothing more.

She sauntered over to a cabinet and pulled down a bottle of whiskey as she took her seat on the couch. She poured and drank a large shot, and, taking note of my cocked eyebrow, she told me,

"I don't think of your family; I don't talk of your family. And if you're about to make me do both after four fucking years, I better have a lot of damn liquor in my system before we begin."

I hadn't realized until now that she had not one piece of personality in her home; it was dirty and plain. _She's in hiding. No ID, no phone, no family pictures. But WHO is she hiding FROM?_I realized I had no right to ask her these questions, and Idecided to drop it temporarily.

"I assume you have some questions for me first, Bella?"

"Where is the rest of the family? Do they know you're here? How are they?" She looked out the window and, for the first time since I had met her, she looked genuinely scared of my family.

"Bella, I'm here alone. They're all still in Africa, living with Carlisle while he works in Doctors without Borders. It's where we've been since the day we left Alaska. The family as a whole is well, although since Alice left me I haven't had contact with her- so I can't really speak for her." I was surprised that she asked of us all- I'd expected she be most interested in Edward and Alice.

"I also haven't spoken to Edwa-"

"I don't give a shit about Fuckward Cullen." She interrupted before I could even finish his name.

I was shocked to say the least, but decided not to question it.

"So, why are you here?" She asked, the worried look returning to her face as she glanced out the window.

"Oh Bella, I didn't hunt you down. I merely smelt you in the club. Speaking of which, why on earth are you working there?" I couldn't help but be curious as to why sweet, shy little Isabella was working in a strip bar.

"Where else am I supposed to work?" She replied with an incredulous look on her face.

"I'm sure The Chief could've found you a job in Forks, Bells." It did not escape my notice that she flinched at the nickname.

She looked me straight in the eye, completely without emotion, and told me plainly, "Charlie is dead."


	4. Songs of Terror

"Charlie is dead."

Bella had just told me her own father had died, and yet I still couldn't pick up on her emotions.

_Is there something wrong with my ability?_

I stared at her in disbelief and she simply shook her head at me. "Not talking about it. So, when are you leaving?"

Well, if that wasn't a shove out the door then what she said next definitely was. "I'm tired and drunk, and that translates to I'm going to bed."

_I can't let her keep living like this. I won't let her keep living like this._

I couldn't help but wonder why I cared as much as I did; I chalked it up to familial love or extreme guilt. "Bella, I'm not exactly done... I want to tell you how sorry I am. I ruined your relationship, and I ruined your life."

I was hit with a wave of extreme rage, but it quickly disappeared into solid nothingness; she was so void of emotion that it nearly brought me to my knees in pain.

"You goddamn idiot! You think YOU ruined my 'relationship'? Did YOU leave me in the woods? Did YOU lie to me and tell me I wasn't good enough? That brother of yours was too much of a pussy to even tell me why he ACTUALLY left. Wasn't good enough? Ha! I 'completed his existence 'until the night you attacked me. For Christ's sake, you're a VAMPIRE! And last I remember, you were perfectly fine until FUCKWARD threw me into a crystal table. Which left a lovely scar down my back, by the way. I have never blamed you for my ex-boyfriend's idiocy or the nature of your kind, Jasper."

Once again, Bella Swan stunned me. Never in my existence have a met a human who'd accepted our kind as we truly were- primal. I thought she was finished until she added

"Goodnight Jasper, I'm not expecting to see you in the morning."

She opened the door for me and as I rose from the couch, I could feel a hinting amount of sadness. It was really very obvious she was kicking me out, but it nearly hurt me to leave her.

"Goodnight Isabella." I replied quietly as I walked out her door, but I knew I wouldn't be leaving. It was my fault her life was in shambles, and it was my duty to fix it.

Twenty minutes and two elk later, I found myself watching Bella pull out a guitar and sit down.

_When did she learn how to play?_

She looked at the case for a while, but before I could actually see what she'd been staring at I heard her start to play. The lyrics tore my heart out, but I found myself more entranced by the fact I could feel her emotions. I felt her tears before they actually appeared, and I'd never wanted anything more than I wanted to dismember Edward at that particular moment. She set down her guitar and cried herself to sleep. In her sleep, her emotions ran wild. I felt her rage, her hurt; then she screamed.

I jumped to the edge of her window, pushed it upward, and pulled myself through. I didn't bother to shut it before I gathered her in my arms.

"Shh, Bella it's okay. I'm here, and I'll protect you."

She shot up immediately and the look on her face was feral.

**BPOV**

Who the hell did he think he was? Entering my home without my permission and trying to console me during a dream I had not invited him into!

"Jasper! What the fuck is wrong with you?" I screamed.

Apparently he had no idea what a rhetorical question was because he shot back with, "Well, excuse me for wanting to comfort you Bella!"

"Comfort me? _Comfort_me? Where the hell was that "comfort" when Edward left in the middle of the woods? Where was that "comfort" when I was all alone? Where was that "COMFORT" when I came home to Charlie, Rene, and Phil dead in my kitchen? Huh? Where the fuck was my comfort when I needed it Jasper? I deal with nightmares every night of my life, and I deal with them alone. The very last thing I need is for another one of you to show some form of love towards me and then dump me back onto the island of forgotten toys again." I seethed in my rage. "I want you out! I want you GONE!" I screamed at him.

I looked up to see him shutting and locking my window.

"No." He said simply as he plopped down on my cheap pull-out bed.

_No? What the hell? Supreme Bitch is unleashing her wrath on you and you DARE to tell her no? Where's a flame-thrower when you need one?_

"I do believe, Mr. Cullen, that it is MY home. I also believe that entitles me to kick you out."

He shot me an incredulous look and told me in his southern drawl "I believe, ma'am that I am nearly four tons of stone and if you're planning on trying to kick me out you'll break your foot. Your home, but my family lives in it. Look, I'm not asking you to jump aboard the Vampire-Express, I'm asking you to open up to me and tell me how I can help you. And by the way, it's Whitlock not Cullen."

\_Help me, and kick YOURSELF out asshole._

I almost told him THAT too, but i decided it'd be pointless. "Yeah, I'll get right on the opening up thing Jas."

I rolled over and allowed myself to drift off into dreamland, not realizing he was holding me to him as I did so…

I awoke the next morning to find myself molded into ice cold stone.

"Alright, lovey-dovey shit is over. When are you leaving?"

I noted his hurt expression and tried not to chastise myself; I couldn't get attached.

"Who are you hiding from and why Isabella?_" _

_Like I'm telling you._

"No clue what you're talking about Jasper. So, ditching me now or later?" I shot him a shit eating grin, and he looked pissed. I felt an odd satisfaction pool in my stomach at the look on his face.

"Bella, I can't leave you like this. Let me find you a nice job, a pretty condo somewhere in California. Let me help you." I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"So you wanna be my sugar daddy? And in exchange are you expecting free blows? Sorry honey, I'm a stripper- Not a whore." I grinned at the disgust that seemed plastered on his perfect marble features.

"Isabella! I would never expect anything of the sort; I would never even suggest such a disgusting thing! I want to help you, and through hell and high water I will! Push me away all you want, but remember something- I'll be right here as soon as your trust issues pass."

_That prick had some nerve, coming in here and telling me he'd planned to take up residence in MY home, while lacking MY permission to do so! Oh hell Isabella, you want him here and you know it!_

I did know it too, and that was precisely why I wasn't going to get attached to him. He'd get bored and leave eventually, and when he did I'd be perfectly fine with it. I'd go back to my shell of an existence and he'd go back to his beautiful, happy family. The thought already broke my heart.

_Well Bella, attached so soon? Haven't changed a bit._

"I'm getting in the shower, and when I get out I'm going out to get work clothes. If you're really going to be such a pest, then I guess you'll have to find a way to occupy yourself. Please don't break the couch, and don't eat the neighbors." I told him with a strictly serious expression.

He rolled his eyes and nodded. I had a feeling Jasper Whitlock was about to turn my shell of an existence into a rollercoaster ride…


	5. Hiding Behind Your Wall

**A/N: This is my third edited chapter, and this is actually a lot harder than I thought. I was a wreck when this story began –completely emotionally numb, much like our Bella here- but this story brought me back to life. It made me truly feel my emotions, and all of my reviewers only helped all the more. For me, there was no Jasper to sweep me off my feet and pull me out of the hell hole that was my life; there was nothing but this story, and I guess I'm having trouble sorting through all the emotions and bettering the chapters, because they all just meant and mean so very much to me. No worries, I got this handled **

**Loyally and Eternally Yours,**

**:3 Momo**

**JPOV**

It'd been three weeks since I re-entered the life of Isabella Swan, and it seemed that every day she was more and more ready to send me back to Africa. It was difficult for me to stay calm sometimes, but I knew that she needed me, and I was determined to help her. Bella came home each night exhausted and snarky, and every night while she slept I would hold her. I wasn't sure why, but I knew that the one night I tried resisting the urge, I was in extreme discomfort. Tonight was a night like any other, until she was hit with a nightmare. It seemed that they'd stopped altogether since I'd arrived, although, since she hadn't said a word to me without her tone being laced with venom, I couldn't be sure.

"Charlie! No Edward, It was… No! Please don't kill him… DADDY!" She awoke mid-scream and burst into tears. I hugged her to me tighter than ever and for the first time since I'd come back she cried in front of me.

"Jasper... It was... He..." She broke apart in sob.

"What was the dream about?" I asked her soothingly; glad that my powers worked when she needed it the most.

"He ...I..." I sent her as strong a wave of calm I could muster and she began, "It was Edward; he killed them. He just killed them all. Dad, Mom, Phil- He just burnt them."

"Bella… Bella what happened to your parents on your birthday?" I felt like I couldn't have had worse timing in asking her, but I had to know or I'd never be of any use.

She held back her tears but didn't put her emotionless wall back up as she remembered the worst day of her existence.

"I was upset with Edward as I walked home... I couldn't believe the idiot just left me in the middle of the forest, but I found my way home. Rene and Phil were coming down to eat dinner with Charlie and me for my birthday. I saw their car in the driveway and forgot about Edward immediately. I ran into the house and saw the three of them in three separate pools of blood. Rene and Phil had been shot in the chest and Charlie held the gun. He had a bullet hole in his left temple, and I couldn't believe my eyes. I knew my father wouldn't ever be capable of doing such a thing, and when I looked closer at the gun, I was certain the scene had been staged. His service weapon was the only handgun he owned, and it has my name inscribed in it- the gun in his hand did not. I knelt down to kiss each of my parents goodbye and noticed the bite mark they each had just behind their ear. It broke me to know I had brought this upon them, and when I got to my room I knew it to be true. I ran up the stairs, grabbed Charlie's weapon, all the money from our safe, and some basic clothes and shoved them into a backpack. I looked at my room for the last time and saw a small envelope with my name in elegant vampiric script."

I watched Bella as she reached under the couch and pulled out a small, tattered envelope. I opened it and read the letter inside:

"Don't worry dear child, our game is not done. They were so adamant about not letting me know your whereabouts, but they did make a fantastic dinner. Happy Birthday, "Bells".

-Vicky

Once she believed I was finished reading she continued "So, I spent my time in the sunniest places I could think of. I checked the papers and read about how the entire state of Washington believed my father killed my mother and Phil, and then killed himself. They also believe that in a break of sanity, he somehow "disposed" of me, and that there were no other parties which were injured in said disagreement. Eventually, the money from the safe ran out, and I ended up stuck in Vegas at nineteen years old, and with lack of an ID. The only place that would hire me was The Pink Kitty."

_So, she was hiding from Victoria? Bella's entire life had been ruined by that witch!_

"Bella..." but there truly were no words to be said.

I'd finally understood her lack of memorabilia, her trust issues; I understood how Bella turned into Izzy. All I wanted to do now was give her a better life. She fell into my arms and into a seemingly dreamless sleep.

The next morning she awoke with a lifeless yawn, and looked directly at me. I expected the usual 'get the fuck out of my bed' comment, but today she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault Jasper. I have to have you know that I never blamed you." She told me, and I knew for certain that the wall she'd thrown up was very slowly crumbling.

"I know Bella, I know."

"But, that doesn't make you any less of an asshole, and, therefore, I would like to ask you very politely to get the fuck out of my bed."

_Predictably unpredictable Bella_.

"Bell, I was thinking that uhm, maybe you would like to stay in my home for a while? I do enjoy your home, but it seems you could desperately use a vacation. Please, take a couple weeks off of work and just..."

Her entire face lit up, but I was terrified for her reaction to my next request.

"I uhm, also thought that if you ever decided you might want... Ahh to hell with it Bella! I know you hate working at the Kitty, and if you ever decide you want a new job you can have one now." I said trying to exude a hell of a lot more confidence than I truly felt as I shoved the Social Security Card, High school Diploma, and ID of one Isabella Rene Stanley to her.

I couldn't feel anything from her but her eyes, being the pools of emotion that they'd always been, portrayed it all. She looked shocked, happy enough to burst to tears, and then her eyes filled with rage.

"What the hell, Jasper? If I needed it, I could've asked for it! Look around you, this place is a piece of shit- but it's MINE! I worked through hell and high water to get my life to THIS standard, and just because you have no problem trying to play Sugar Daddy doesn't mean I'm tolerating it!" She, in all honesty, looked like a Chihuahua that thought it was a guard dog.

Not only that but the fact that I'd done something NICE for her and gotten shot down again had me fuming. "Bella, bitch about it all you want, but you're taking the fucking ID! Isabella Stanley has a high school diploma and tax records, and that means you can now apply to college or any retail or food industry- so unless you'd rather be shaking your naked ass in from of drunken, unfaithful assholes for the rest of your life, you'd better take the fucking identity. I don't want anything in return other than maybe a little bit of trust or oh I don't know… appreciation?"

_Way to go Asshole!_

But I instantly knew I could never regret the words I'd said as I watched the wall of Isabella Marie Swan crumble in front of me. Tears ran down her face and when she looked up at me all I could do was hold her.

"Thank you Jasper... " she said lightly as she rose..

_I wish I could kiss the tears away... Wait, WHAT THE FUCK MAN? This is Bella, your ex-wife's best friend... You're brother's ex-girlfriend! _I growled at the thought.

"I, uh, I'm going to go pack my bag. I guess we can go to your house if you'd still like me there. However, I'm going to work tonight; we can leave for... wherever the hell you live... in the morning." The uncertainty on her face was clear as she pulled clothes from a wardrobe in the corner of the room and threw it into her black backpack. She took it with her to the bathroom and went to put on her work attire.

A half hour and what I believe to be a quarter pound of make up later, I watched Izzy glide out of the bathroom.

"Quit drooling Daddy." She said with a smirk.

"Isabella, it isn't like that and you know it. Can't you understand that I care about you?"

I know she knew I heard her reply, but I let her believe she'd kept it to herself as she whispered, "No, not at all."

She walked out the door without a second word.

I spent the rest of the night cleaning her apartment and, just as I began organizing her kitchen drawers, I remembered my first night here, and watching her stare at her guitar case with this unexplainable expression on her face. I walked to the small closet and pulled out the case, well aware that I was crushing the eggshells I'd walked so carefully on for the past few weeks. Laying it on the floor I slowly opened it to see a picture of my ex-wife, Bella, and myself. I remembered this day it well, finding it strange that she'd choose this photo to take from home instead of the one of her and Edward, which had been in the same double-photo picture frame Alice gave her.

_It's true- the family's abandonment truly DID hurt her worse than HIS. _

The realization that I could've helped her instead of running from her in shame hit me like a runaway train. I had failed her twice the day of the attack, and for that I was in eternal debt to her.

After a few rounds with my conscience I decided to go back to cleaning the junk drawer out, only to find yet another photograph. This one being the second photo in the frame- she and Edward looked at one another with a mutual adoration as they made pizza. I honestly had to laugh at that; flipping the photo over I realized this had truly meant very little to her in comparison to the memory of Alice. She looked at her best-friend every day, but Edward's memory was thrown in with the miscellaneous. I sighed and finished my cleaning just in time to pick up my car from the parking lot I'd left it in last month and grab Bella from work.

Throwing her backpack at my head as she climbed in, she began to light a cigarette.

I shot her a glare "Cigarettes are bad for your health." I informed her.

"Thank you Surgeon General Dickwad." She replied took another drag and stared out the window.

I began accelerating out of the city limits and she quickly drifted off to sleep.

_Isabella Marie Swan, You are rude, bitchy, and amazing_…

I thought to myself as the sun rose just beyond the horizon.


	6. Mixed Signals

**A/N: Maybe it seems to you guys that not much is changing in the story, but there are fourteen chapters left and I plan on changing quite a bit. I'm sorry if I seem overly emotional, but this really does mean the world to me. Read and review? **

I'd laid her down in the master bedroom and began removing my belongings as her sleep talking started.

"Jasper." She mumbled.

I was waiting for the screaming, the knee buckling fear. All I got was a soft sigh that escaped her lips.

_She's dreaming about me? But... HUH?_I thought as she smiled ad pressed herself into the pillow.

"Mmmh" she breathed out with a content look on her face.

I allowed my imagination to wonder a bit, curious as to what she was dreaming of, while I moved all of my belongings out of the room and put the few that she had brought away. Alice, having never enjoyed Nevada, never bothered coming here with me- so I had none of her belongings to remove. I had honestly never been more thankful for any of the decisions I had ever made without consent from Alice.

After finishing the task of moving into my library, I wandered downstairs in an attempt to make Bella breakfast. What I smelled and what she smelled were obviously different things when she plopped herself, half awake, on the barstool and demanded coffee and "a plate of whatever the hell you're cooking." I leaned over the counter and fed her a strip of bacon as she rolled her eyes at me.

"Ya know, for somebody who prefers raw meat, you're actually a surprisingly good cook." She said with a grin as she devoured everything but the plate itself.

"So Jazzy, my dear, what fair adventure shall we embark on today?"

_Damn, her attitude... Somebody ought to teach her a thing or two..._

Just as I opened my mouth to reply, I felt the familiar buzz of my phone.

Flipping it open with a simple, "Yeah?" I heard Peter's smug as could be tone.

"Play a game." Was all I got before hearing an also familiar click of him hanging up.

I sighed audibly and opted for a day in.

"Boardgames. Humans like those, right?" I laughed.

"Or we could play attack the girl with the paper cut. I've learned from experience that vampires LOVE that game." She said straight-faced.

_Ouch._

I stayed silently lost in the memory and didn't notice as she reached across the counter and brushed her fingertips to my arm.

"Jas, I was kidding. You know I have never held that against you."

If it could've, the venom pooling in my eyes would've been falling down my face.

_Fuck that, you aren't going to cry over this shit._I told myself.

I mumbled an "I know..." and ascended the stairs quickly, burying myself in a book that I'd read probably thirty times.

I heard her heartbeat outside the door a few hours later and realized I'd never given her any form of explanation for my earlier detachment. She didn't bother to knock as she opened the door and sat herself on my couch at my feet. Before she could even begin I looked her in the eyes and told her

"It was an accident."

"Jasper, I know. I've always known that. I tried to tell Edward that, but apparently nobody listens to the pleasant smelling human." I had to laugh at her response.

Only Bella.

Alright, so obviously I wasn't about to recommend a board game, but I needed something to keep Bella occupied. I ran from the room and returned with two of my classical acoustics.

"You play, right?" She nodded and took one from my hand.

I watched as she strummed out the chords and then halted; she looked at me with a questioning glance. "Well, were you waiting for lessons? Or did you plan on playing?" she asked, and I immediately joined her.

We played a few freelance songs, and then I set down my guitar and stared in awe as she sang. She had such a beautiful voice. She didn't seem to notice the lack of diversity until I adjusted myself in my seat. She looked up for a moment but the playing didn't cease for another hour or so when she decided to set down the guitar. I laid back and stared at her beauty. She always seemed to think she was average, but the day she arrived at Forks High, I had dropped to my knees at the surrounding desire and lust.

A few moments later, she lie back next to me and shut her eyes.

"Night Jasper... wake me up for lunch."

I smiled and looked down at the gorgeous girl next to me.

_Whoa, back it up- did I just call her gorgeous? Nah, she's just Bella._

Trying to think of how else to occupy the afternoon, I went and prepared a quick lunch for her before and changing into my swim trunks and a thin black t shirt. Out of habit, I always swam with a shirt- my scars were already grotesque by human eyes and were downright terrifying with the sharp sight of a vampire.

"Lunch by the pool?" I asked as I shook her from sleep.

"Definitely!" She said, running to her room for her suit.

I ran down the stairs at vampire speed and dove into the pool, coming up just in time to see Bella walk out in a thin blue bikini. She grinned and lay back in a chair while she ate her lunch, making the oddest faces I've ever seen her make, but by the small moan that escaped her lips, I assumed I made a damn good salmon sandwich. Without warning, she set her plate down and dove into the water.

"Ah ah ah! No swimming for a half hour after eating, young lady!" I teased as she resurfaced.

She rolled her eyes and shot me an exasperated look as she whined "But Dadddd…. I really want to swim!" and splashed me in the face with water.

"Oh, so we're playing like that?" I asked, picking her up and dunking her under the water.

She lunged out of my arms and splashed me again, sticking her tongue out at me.

"Oh no you don't, young lady!" I said and growled as I captured her once more.

"Haha! Oh no! The big bad vampire has me! I'm _SO_terrified!"

I had her pinned to the ground beside the pool before she even realized what'd happened. I barred my teeth and growled- smiling at her afterwards.

"Scared yet?" I asked her.

In response she leaned up and smiled at me. I had the overwhelming urge to kiss her, and so I did. She kissed back, her lips tasting of cherries, and I was amazed by how much I enjoyed this. I deepened the kiss, not thinking clearly, and she immediately stiffed beneath me,

"Move." She said in a strong voice that carried a shaky undertone.

I was immediately on the other side of the pool.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I tried to tell her, but she'd run from the yard before I'd had the chance. Deciding to give her space, I lay back in a pool chair and wondered what the hell I was going to do…

**A:N/ Review? **


	7. Tear My Heart Open, Just to Feel

**A/N: This one… Well, there's a story behind how this chapter came to be. But again, I wrote what I was living at the time, in a sense, and I hope y'all enjoy it.**

**P.s. Have I lost my magic touch? :O**

Alright, so I fucked up. She probably didn't realize what she was doing when she kissed me and acted in the heat of the moment, and I took advantage of it.

"Bella, you've locked me out for three hours. Need I remind you that you're not locked in your own room?" and with that the door flung open and she'd run to her room, throwing her things back in her duffel bag.

"I. Am. Leaving." She told me, "Are you going to take me or will I be walking back to Vegas? Because I have job hunting to do, and I'm sure you have your pixie and clan to get back to."

_Did she seriously think I'd ditch her now? She is just about the closest thing I've got to family- other than Peter and Char. _

"I'll take you Bella."

"Alright then Captain Jackass, let me make a few things clear so that I can stomach the two hour ride in the car next to you."

_Ouch! Punch to the self-esteem much? _

I nodded for her to continue. "One, I'm not precisely in the mood for conversation with a predator,"

_Ouch._

"So we won't be talking. Two, I'm not sitting in a car that's going over 70 miles an hour. And three, if you do not buy me some god damn cigarettes in the next ten minutes I swear on all that is holy I will light you up myself. Got it?" I nodded and ran out of the house, returning three minutes later with a pack of Camel Crush Cigarettes and a lighter with a tiara on it.

_Might as well try for humor. _I thought cynically as I loaded her things into the car and grabbed a new bag of clothing, as having to run back here every morning for clean clothes was rather tiring.

I picked Bella up and had her strapped into the passenger seat before she even realized I'd moved. I sank into my seat on the opposite side of the console and started the engine only to hear her ever-so-politely inform me

"If you ever touch me again, Jasper, I will not hesitate to build your fire." The calmness that plagued her words making me shudder as she lit her cigarette.

Three hours, two words, and six cigarettes later I was unloading the car and carrying the bags into Bella's apartment.

"Goodbye, jasper." She said pointedly as she threw my bag to me.

I grinned and plopped down on the sofa/bed.

"Oh, decided to wait until I fall asleep to suck me dry, have you? Don't waste your time baby- you might as well kill me now."

_Is she fucking serious? _

"Bella, I'm not going anywhere, and the jokes aren't funny. Quit acting like this Bell, it isn't you." And with my words came a glass shattering against my face.

She'd apparently thrown her drinking cup at me, and, although wasn't hurt, I was sure as hell pissed.

"YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME JASPER! WHAT, YOU THINK YOU CAN WALTZ IN HERE AND PRETEND TO LIVE IT FOR A MONTH, AND DECIDE YOU KNOW MY LIFE? YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT! YOU'RE JUST A SELFISH SON OF A BITCH, AND I WISH YOU WOULD GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE, AND LET ME GO BACK TO LIVING IT MY WAY!" She screamed from no more than two inches away from my face.

"Selfish? ME? Oh please Isabella, if one of us here is selfish then it is you. I've completely devoted myself to you, trying to help you, and you treat me like I'm shit on the bottom of your shoe! What the hell turned you into such a heartless bitch?" She gaped at me for a moment and then took control of her expression, her eyes filling with rage.

"What turned me into such a bitch? How about having three parents dead and an entire family desert you on the same day? How about being chased by a psychotic vampire without protection? How about realizing that the only way to survive was to get naked and dance on a pole for grocery money? How about being raped by a man you thought you trusted? Yup Jasper, I'm a cold, heartless, untrusting, bitch- and in the past four years not one single person has given me a reason not to be." My mind was running a mile a minute as I tried to comprehend everything she'd said.

_This is my fault, mine. It's my fault Charlie's dead. It's my fault she's a stripper. It's my fault she was raped. Wait, RAPED? _

"Bella, I don't understand."

"Well, it all started when my boyfriend's brother tried to eat me…" It hurt, but I interrupted for a different reason.

"Bella, you know what I meant. You said you were..." I just couldn't finish that thought.

"Raped, Jasper. What's the matter? Need a step by step explaination?" she said with biting sarcasm.

I felt venom rushing towards my eyes at the thought of a man tearing her in such a way. I physically shuddered.

"What...what happened?"

"Well, could explain the exact procedure in which rape generally occurs or I could tell you how it happened to me. As much as I'd love to see your face as I detailed the first option- I'd really like to get this shit over with."

She paused for a moment and let out a breathy sigh. "I was stripping for a club in Chicago about a year and a half before I got hired at the Kitty; I was almost twenty and looked of age so they never carded me. There was a bouncer there named Daniel who had a schedule that matched mine exactly, and that's actually what brought us to talking… I asked him if he was trying to be my guardian angel, and he rolled his eyes and smiled. It was the first time I'd felt anything in eighteen months, and I desperately needed it. Since that night, I'd had a lot of trouble with customers after leaving the building, so he'd walk me to the bus stop and wait for it to arrive about five minutes later. It became part of our daily routines, and I finally had a friend again- somebody I could talk to and actually trust. For three weeks, our routine continued, and then one night it happened."

Again, she paused and took a deep breath. "We walked next to each other down the street, and he tried to hold my hand, but I'd slipped it out of his palm before he could actually entwine our fingers. I wasn't comfortable with someone touching me; I that point I still had such an attachment to Edward, that I actually worried he'd be angry with me if he saw it."

This time, she laughed. "Three blocks later, he stopped and told me how nice I looked, and I got uncomfortable. Then, he tried to kiss me and when I started to walk away he grabbed my shoulders and held me against the building. He ripped my clothes off me with one hand while he held my wrists above my head with the other. He slid his pants down and covered my mouth as he raped me. When he was done, he realized he'd utterly destroyed my clothes. So, he took off his shirt and pulled it over me. Then he kissed me on the cheek and told me he'd see me the next night as I sank to the ground crying. I tried to stay away for weeks, but I needed money, and so the rape became part of the routine as well. Every night, I'd try to sneak out the back door without him noticing, and some nights I did, but with each of those came a more violent, angry scene. Twice, he almost killed me. The second time, a policeman woke me up."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I looked at him and all I could see was my father- my daddy looking down at me torn up on the cement. I couldn't take it; I never went back to that club. Well, that's the end of my happy little tale." She concluded.

How could she tell me that with such little emotion on her face?

More importantly:

_How could he do that to her? I swear on god I will kill that man if it's the last thing I ever do._

"Bella, I am so sorry… This really is all my fault." I told her.

She looked at me with an angry fire burning in her eyes. "Did YOU rip my clothes off me and rape me while I begged for you to stop? Did YOU drain my parents? Did YOU leave me alone in the fucking woods and convince the closest thing I had to a family to abandon me? No, I didn't think so."

"No Bells, but I DID cause it all to happen. I tried to attack you, and it set all of that in motion. I'm the one who destroyed your trust and walked on it as if it meant nothing at all. I am the monster who has no control, and the effects of that destroyed your life."

"I trust you, Jasper."

I shook my head at her, knowing it wasn't true and watched as she walked to the kitchen. I saw her kneel down behind the counter – out of my line of vision- when I heard the tearing of skin and smelt her blood. I sat as still as I could and didn't breathe, knowing what she was doing. She walked in front of me, holding her severely cut palm just under my nose. I took a quick breath in.

_God, that smells divine._

But the reminder that the blood belonged to my Bella made it instantly unappetizing.

"I cut my right palm Jas. I'm right handed." She told me as I realized she was taking this a hell of a lot farther than I'd thought.

"The needle and thread are in the junk drawer, peroxide in the cabinet above it, and paper towels on the counter. Also, bring me an orange from the fridge and a cup of milk; I'm losing a decent amount of blood."

I ran to the kitchen, gathering all the things she'd mentioned as quickly as possible and began cleaning out her wound.

"That was the absolute stupidest thing you have ever done." I informed her.

"And yet, you never once wanted to drain me. I trust you not to kill me, but I'm still waiting for you to get bored and leave." She told me as I finished her stitches.

"Then you'll be waiting forever Miss Swan. Goodnight." I said shutting off the lights and lying down next to her on the bed.

"Get the fuck out of my bed, Whitlock." Bella told me with a grin the next morning.

"I need to make a trip to the library; you're going to help me find an apartment that isn't in Sin City." I was astonished, to say the least.

"You're moving? Where? Why?"

"Because, my dear bloodsucker, I'm tired of looking out my window to see coke being snorted of the lids of dumpsters and whores being fucked in alleyways. I've decided that, with the documents you gave me, I could get a waitressing job just about anywhere. So, let's go Google- I'm on a tight ass budget, but I'm sure I'll find something." I didn't understand her at all.

Didn't she know I could help her? But again, I knew she wouldn't simply allow me to be the provider while she paid for nothing.

"Isabella, what exactly is your budget?" I wondered.

"Well, I pay about three hundred a month here, and I'd like not to go above four fifty." She told me.

"Simple solution- move in with me, in Miskeete." She opened her mouth to protest but I continued on.

"Not for free. You can pay me three hundred and fifty dollars a month, I'll handle groceries since my housekeeper restocks the fridge constantly, and you can work at the Denny's down the block. You'd still be taking care of yourself and in no way dependent on me." She threw on her shoes and opened the door, which I assumed was a very, very bad sign.

"I'll be back at six tonight with an answer." She told me as she disappeared.

_Better than expected, but I think she might be going through withdrawals of personal space._

While she was gone I organized the house, trying to make it easiest for her to pack if she did decide to move in. Her kitchen was impeccably organized within ten minutes: her dishes all stacked neatly in the pantry, the entire place beautifully clean, and every item from her junk drawer in its proper place, aside from the picture of Edward.

I then moved on to the laundry baskets and piles in the right corner of the room, folding the clean and dirty but separating them into different baskets. I folded up the couch/bed and vacuumed the floors, moving on to the bathroom. After it was organized and sparkling, I realized that I'd only used about an hour, and decided to go hunting.

While Bella had been working I'd hunt, but in the past three or four days I hadn't felt the need to. It seemed that, in her presence, nothing else mattered, which I knew wasn't good. I tried to shake the thought from my mind as I ran. Ending up somewhere on the Californian coast at about noon, I was fully willing to accept the fact that I was losing my ability to focus. I ran down the coastal line, ending up in a forest-like area in Sonora, Mexico, and tackling down a few of the natural life. I jogged most of the way back to San Diego, only to discover it was five thirty in Bella's time zone, and ran the rest of the way home. Ascending the stairs of the apartment I counted heartbeats, realizing that, unless somebody had a guest, Bella was home early.

"Jas! I got your note, and the house looks great!" she said hugging me.

I was extremely thankful that I'd remembered to write her a note in case she returned before I did.

"So, boxes huh?" I inquired, seeing the open moving boxes scattered around the floor.

She placed seven hundred dollars in my hand and informed me that that was her first two months of rent.

"Well, you don't need to bring your dishware unless you want to, and you are NOT bringing the couch." I said lovingly.

"I'm not particularly attached to my dollar store dishware or my lumpy sofa so I have no objections. However, I have two requests." I nodded for her to continue. "One, you are a hell of a lot quicker than I am- so, will you pack for me? Also, I want to spend tonight here as a goodbye to my uncomfortable couch."

I laughed and agreed readily, having all her boxes packed and lined up in the living room before she even realized what I'd done.

"You'll have to carry your guitar, but I can handle the rest. And now, my request is that if you live in my house you quit smoking the day you move in."

She rolled her eyes and threw her cigarettes in the trash as she plopped down on the couch, nodding towards the light switch.

"Goodnight couches." She said as she snuggled into it. I lay beside her and threw my arm over her, pulling her to me.

"Goodnight Bella." I said, and for the first time in forever, I felt at peace.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I appreciate the reviews, Favs, and Follows from the original story and the rewrite! Thank you so much everybody for supporting this!**

**Jasper: Momo stop typing, you're going soft on us**

**Bella: Yeah Mo, grow a pair!**

**Momo: Well, gimme a minute so I can tell them to...**

**Jas&Bella: REVIEW DAMNIT! Now come on Momo, write a new chapter!**

**Bella: And buy me a new damn couch! MY BACK HURTS!**

**Momo: Alright you heard em! Review so that I can start writing chapter 7 :)**


	8. Will You Love Me In The Morning?

I was smiling at Bella's sleeping form, when I heard the glass from the window crack and shatter on the floor. I checked to make sure Bella was still sleeping and then picked up the rock that had ended up on the carpet.

Leaping out the window with more rage than I felt I was fit to handle, I noticed the group of men who'd pressed themselves against the wall whilst staring at me in fear.

"Anybody want to tell me who threw the rock?" I questioned slowly.

"It...We… Wrong window, Man…" The biggest of the morons stuttered out.

So, perhaps I overreacted, but I was still in the mood to hit them. Stalking forward, I was interrupted by a sweet voice three stories up crying out for me. I looked to the mob with venom pooling in my mouth and grabbed the one who'd spoken by the throat.

"Get gone. Get gone before I change my mind." I said. I heard the thick drawl in my voice and realized that I'd been projecting massive amounts of fear into the pathetic group in front of me.

They quickly ran around the corner, and I leaped back through the broken window. Lying down beside her, I softly cooed her back to sleep before I rose again. I silently took all of her things downstairs and loaded them into my car with ease. I swept up the glass and, by the time I was through, Bella had already splashed her face with water. Wordlessly, she sauntered out of the apartment and to the street below. We both situated ourselves in the car, and, by the time we'd reached the city limits, she'd spoken her first words of the morning.

"So long." She said lowly towards the vision of "The Strip" that was seen through my rearview mirror.

"Will you miss it?" I wondered.

"Never. Vegas is like a whore: beautiful at night, but when the sun rises and you see her face, you'd like to run and hide." She told me disinterestedly.

I nodded and we continued our drive in silence. Pulling up to the house Bella's emotions made me damn near swerve into my mailbox.

**Inadequacy. Fear. Concern. Hope. Rage. **

The knee-buckling cocktail was gone as quick as it came, and I was left with little clue as to what happened. The moment I parked, Bella climbed out of the car, slamming my door as hard as she could manage. I smiled slightly at the memory of Rosalie during a similar wave of rage; she'd ended up pulverizing Emmett's favorite Jeep. I opened the door to the house and walked in, noticing Bella on the step- refusing entry.

"This is your house now too, and you don't need to be invited inside."

"I can't. I cannot walk through that door. It means too much." She told me with an expression of ice cold loathing. For a moment, I thought it was directed at me, but I realized it was simply how she felt about the situation as a whole.

"Well, what exactly _does_is mean, Bell?" I honestly didn't understand what difference it made if she took those three steps.

"It means I live here; with you. It means I live with a Cullen. It means I have a home, and can have a decent job. It means you aren't leaving. It means I'm finally safe." She sobbed out as she crumpled to the ground of my front porch step.

I wrapped my arms around her shaking form and cooed to her. I might not be able to sing, but I'm Mr. Emotions, and there was no way in hell I was going to let her believe that she didn't deserve happiness. If necessary, I would devote my entire existence to insuring her happiness.

"Bella, my Bella, I'm going to take you upstairs to your room so you can shower and relax. Okay?" She nodded against my chest as I stood up and ran to her room.

While she showered, I unpacked her boxes and made her brunch.

_Yeah, because "preparing brunch" isn't emasculating at all…_

I tried shaking off the thought and figured to couldn't hurt to eat outside- after all September in Miskeete is like July in Utah, and I assumed Bella would enjoy the sunshine while I glittered.

_Well, aren't we rather keen on brunch and sparkles, Jasper?_

That inner voice was nothing but a sheer annoyance, although I did often wonder what evolutionary value was in glittering like the Back Street Boys.

Bella met me outside in a tank top and sweatpants with a fantastic grin on her face as she eyed the omelet I'd prepared for her. She laughed at me as I pinched my nose; that food smelled like urine. Once she finished eating, we sat down on the living room floor, and she began to talk.

"You never take it off." She told me.

"Never take WHAT off Bella?" I had a thousand thoughts run through my head at that moment, but her next words proved my first thought correct.

"Your shirt. You sleep in it, you swim in it; I have NEVER seen you without a shirt, and you've lived with me for five months Jasper." She then leaned forward and began undoing the buttons. I grabbed her hand quickly and held it away.

"No. Bella I'm not Adonis and I'm not perfect. I'm scarred, destroyed, and underneath this shirt is a memory of every life I've ever taken. No vampire to sink his teeth into my flesh has EVER lived to tell about it. You don't want to see this." I thoroughly expected the conversation to cease then, but she commanded me.

"It's your turn, Jasper; I want you to tell me what happened- all of it."

She sat with wide eyes and tears dripping down her face, listening to my stories of the Southern Vampire Wars and Maria's torture. At some points she looked heartbroken and at others she looked deadly, but when all was said and done she didn't scream at me. She didn't call me a murderer. She simply sat down in my lap and hugged me.

"You're brave, and you're strong. I don't care who you were then; I respect you all the more for who you are now."

And I honestly can't tell you how long we sat there, with my arms around me and her whispering words of comfort in my ear.


	9. If Looks Could Kill

**A Little About Your Author: I have scars across my arms and my back, that have always affected the way I felt about myself. They were hideous and shameful to me, and I hated mirrors. I just happened to meet a very good friend, who literally kissed every scar and told me it was beautiful. THAT is how the chapter came to life. Throughout the story, things that Bella, Jasper, and Even Edward do, are things that actually happened in my life. "A Fall From Grace" is actually about me and Bella coming TO Grace and learning to live again.  
>Just thought I'd Share!<strong>

**A/N: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! HOPE YOU DO TOO! REVIEW!**

"You're brave, Jasper. You are brave because you were born into a life of death, torture, and sadness- you were literally created to destroy- and yet you sit in front of me a kind, loving man who would lay down his life for a simple human girl who shouldn't mean a thing." Bella told me as she began to undo the buttons of my shirt.

"Am I truly that brave for killing, for torturing…?" and she silenced me with a finger to my lips.

She gently slid my shirt over my shoulders and removed it, and pushed my torso back to the ground as she carefully laid me on the floor. Her carefulness made me chuckle- maybe she was worried that I would bend the floor. My nervousness spiked as she lowered her face closer to inspect the scars. She gently ran her hands over the contours of my chest, her mouth following in suit.

"Bella…" I gasped as she placed gentle kisses over each scar.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to be with you Jasper, but I want to try." Bella told me as she planted a warm kiss on my lips. I hoped to god that she could, because I knew in that moment that I wanted that woman for the rest of my days.

That afternoon was filled with questions and soft kisses until we finally settled on the couch to watch a movie. Halfway through "Romeo and Juliet" I saw Bella's vision glaze over as she trapped herself in a memory, but after our emotional shift today I decided that it'd be better if I simply allowed her to take herself through it. However, then it occurred to me that Edward had once mentioned her love for Shakespeare. He'd apparently quoted the lines during the movie once when they watched it, and had ended up in an argument on what he would do if she died- he'd told me of it once.

"Isabella, look at me. I am not Edward, and I won't ever _act_like Edward. He was here once, but he's not here now. If you feel like you need him, if you want him… instead…" I gulped, feeling tears that wouldn't fall. "I will call him immediately, and I can assure you that he will be here within the week."

"Jasper, I do NOT want to see Edward Cullen ever again. He is the past- YOU are the present. You may even possibly be the future, and if you called Edward to stand in front of me at this moment I would look him in the eyes and inform him that I deeply care for his adoptive brother." She told me before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a kiss.

_She "deeply cares" for me?_

I could hear her heart racing as she deepened our kiss, shocking me further, and I rolled onto my back, dragging her on top of me. I was worried she might be uncomfortable with our change in position, but she seemed comfortable as I placed my hands on the small of her back. Her tongue fought mine for dominance before I relaxed and gave her control of the kiss, and after a few moments she lay next to me panting.

"How can we do that?" She asked me.

"How can we kiss? I thought it was quite a simple process really Bella…" I smiled through my heavy sarcasm.

"It's just… with Edward everything was guarded, and, although I promise I'm not making any comparisons between the two of you, I can't help but wonder how you could possibly handle all this. I don't want to make the situation harder for you."

I tilted my head back and laughed. "Bella, my control has been a mastered art since I first moved in with the Cullens. The reason you were attacked on your birthday was because I carried the blood thirst of six other vampires on my shoulders due to my gift, but I swear to you that it will never happen again. Now on a happier note, I'll go fetch lunch from that Chinese place down the street, stop for a quick hunt, and meanwhile you can go soak in the enormous bathtub in your room." I said with a light kiss on her lips before getting up and grabbing my car keys.

An hour later I found myself sitting at a table with Bella, listening to her explain the wonders of oriental dining and Shakespearian acting. I laughed as she slurped up noodles and smiled at my jokes, and a few board games and a light dinner later, I found myself laying Bella in her bed before walking out the door.

"Jasper!" She called after me "Stay, stay here with me tonight."

And so, I climbed onto the bed and wrapped her in my arms. She cuddled against my body and immediately fell asleep. Our days and nights stayed the same, and Bella was hired at the small-town diner across the street. While she worked, I'd hunt and read and the house slowly became home. Three weeks after that first kiss, our morning routine was interrupted by a knock at the door. Bella was still asleep, and I was half-dressed, but I went to answer the door anyways.

"Jasper, we haven't seen you in… holy shit your house smells good!" Emmett told me as he hugged me, and I let out a nervous chuckle.

Then Rosalie began with, "Jasper your house smells like…" but she never got to finish her sentence as we all turned to see My Bella slowly walking down the stairs, clad in nothing but one of my white button ups.

"Jas, guess you got an early start. I woke up and the bed was empty so I decided to… Oh, it seems you have guests. I'm going to go get my coffee." Bella said, in a tone that warned me of the underlying emotion.

"Bella! I've missed you so much little sister! You'll have to tell me all about what you've been up to lately!" Emmett said, and I cringed at Bella's next words- knowing it was only a warning of what was left to come.

"Oh, you know _big brother_… The usual, stripping for a living, being chased by a psychopath, and getting raped by a bouncer. Now, unless you'd like me to build a pyre for all three of you, I suggest you all stay completely and utterly silent until I drink my coffee and get dressed for work."

Emmett's jaw dropped, and he stared after her as she sauntered up the stairs with her coffee in hand. We sat in utter silence, listening to the sounds of the shower, blow dryer, and Bella's later descent of the stairs. I knew the day would come eventually: the family coming to visit; I'd hoped I would have had a few months to prepare, but family visits apparently don't require phone calls.

"So, Bella…" Rosalie said with distaste, her voice laced with venom. "You're planning on fucking your way through the Cullen family tree, I can see. Who's next, Emmett?" I cringed at the thought of my girlfriend bedding my overgrown child of a brother, and I was worried about how Isabella would react.

"Oh dear darling, of course not! I think I'll go for Carlisle next!" Bella replied bitingly.

Rosalie's mouth fell into an "O" as Bella winked in my direction. With a quick glance at the clock, she kissed my lips and told me she'd see me after work before she addressed our guests.

"As long as it is only the two of you, stay as long as you please." She told a stunned Emmett and an enraged Rosalie before she glided out the door. But I knew this was far from over. In fact, I had a feeling that this was one small battle in a much bigger war.

**A/N: AMEN! Review! **


	10. Do You Love Me?

**A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters in the entire story! Honestly, I spend HOURS pouring over it and slamming my fists against my keyboard! Just a warning, there's a lemmie-emmon at the end! **

"Honestly Rosalie! What the hell is wrong with you? 'Sleeping your way through the family tree'? She and Edward barely even kissed!" I was FUMING. "Not only that, but you came into our home and fucked with her sense of security; you had no right!" I yelled, probably no more than five inches from Rose's face- which was obviously making Emmett nervous.

"Oh please, I'm expected to have sympathy for her when she brought this on herself? She never belonged in our world, and I told you all that it'd end badly one way or another from the very beginning. How'd she find you anyways; and when are you calling Edward to come collect his play-thing?" She asked with disdain.

"_I_found _her_ working in a strip club and living in a dump in Gangland; she was hiding from the insane vampire who drained her entire family. And in reality Rose, _I _brought this on her… _I_attacked her that September all those years ago." I was trying to keep my calm and clear mind but Rosalie has never made it easy, not for as long as I've known her, at least.

"Regardless," Rose waved me off. "When is he coming to collect her so that you can enjoy a pleasant visit with Emmett and me?"

"Rosalie, this visit won't be pleasant if you continue to insult my girlfriend. When I first found her in Vegas, I asked her if she wanted me to call him, and I asked again just after our relationship began last month: she threatened to light me on fire if I called. She lives here because I wanted to know she was safe and breathing when the sun came up every morning. Rose, stay if you want but she pays rent here; this is her home too- so you'll abide by HER rules. One of which being that you don't speak to her before she has her cup of coffee: she's… less than pleasant when other people address her in the morning." I'd actually been the one to enforce that rule when she'd practically bit the head off of the delivery man for ringing the doorbell before eight. I chuckled at the memory

"Girlfriend? Oh you must be completely delusional Jasper! You're just a replacement for Edward in her mind! But alright, if you want to play this game, we can: I'll refrain from informing her of what a whore she is for a while." Rosalie told me venomously. I barred my teeth at her, and Emmett stepped in between us.

"Rosie, maybe we have the situation wrong; you haven't even bothered to ask how any of this happened. Plus, if Jasper cares about her then why should we care whether they're together or not? She deserved to find love again after everything that she's been through: Murder? Stripping? Rape? Rosalie you can't tell me that you don't feel any sympathy for her situation; it's hardly different from everything that happened in your human life- minus the stripping. Jasper, tell me what happened, and tell me honestly, will she ever forgive me?" Emmett pleaded, but my mind was stuck on a one track tape-

"_She deserves to find love again."  
>He thinks she loves me? Could she honestly feel that way about me?<em>_  
><em>I couldn't believe that I'd be that lucky.

"I don't know if she'll ever call you family again Emmett; the family leaving hurt her more than anything Edward ever did." I said; Rosalie snorted, "And as for her story, it's _her_story, and if you'd like to know it, you'll have to ask her."

"Well, it's not like you and Edward are very different Jasper, so quit making him sound like he's the worst thing in existence. You swooped into her life and made her quit her job and move into your house in a different city. Now what did _Edward_do? He made her drop her best friend, lectured every aspect of her life, and made her feel dependent on him. There isn't much of a difference. Tell me, on what fucking planet is any of this HEALTHY for her?" Rosalie asked me bitingly.

"I didn't force anything on her other than making her quit smoking. I gave her documents, made suggestions, and invited her into my home. I made it clear to her that they were offers and suggestions, not demands. And the ONLY reason I made her quit smoking is because they smell vile, and I don't want my house smelling like an ashtray. She pays rent because she refuses to allow me to take care of her, and she wants to feel like she makes a contribution to this house- which she _does._Now, quit analyzing my relationship and tell me what's been going on with the family."

We spent the next six hours in the sitting room talking about the family and their adventures in Africa. Edward was off to yet another snooty music school, and it seemed he'd pulled himself mildly out of his 'black depression' that he'd held since the day he left Bella. Honestly, we all thought he was just bored now that he didn't have her to keep him company, and this only seemed to prove us right- although I was still concerned about what his reaction may be to my relationship with Bella. Alice had told the family she was off to learn to surf, and was currently residing somewhere in the Caribbean. Although, knowing Alice the way that I do, I had a feeling she'd pushed the truth a bit. Carlisle and Esme were doing great with recent patients and had apparently expressed a wish to visit with me, and so Rosalie and Emmett were sent to fetch me and ship me off to Africa.

"I'm sure that eventually we'll make the trip out there, but, as of this moment, I don't think Bella would react well to them." I told them.

"Well, I have a wonderful solution! Leave her ass here and come home with us." Rosalie replied.

I rolled my eyes and heard my car pulling up the drive. Bella walked through the door three minutes later as if two people she wasn't flaming angry at were sitting on her couch. She strolled into the sitting room in her usual fashion and sat herself in my lap, dropping the keys on the couch.

"Hey Jas!" She said, placing a sweet kiss on my cheek. "Work was dull, as usual, but I met an author today who writes some pretty interesting horror novels! Hello Emmett, and to you Mrs. McCarthy."

"Yeah, same to you, Harlot." Rose said, and she may not have seen it, but the fire in Bella's eyes ignited, and I wasn't stupid enough to try and interfere.

Bella folded her arms across her chest and looked Rose dead in the eye-the phrase _If looks could kill…_popped into my head.

"You know what Rosalie? You can get on your knees and fucking blow me; after all, you must be really good at giving head if Emmett keeps you around regardless of how you treat the people around you." Rose opened her mouth to reply, but Bella was having none of it.

"No, you don't get to speak. Let me make something clear, Jasper owns this house; I contribute, which makes this my home as well as his, and if you plan on staying in it you will show me and Jasper both equal respect or you'll hop on the next plane to Africa- or if you prefer, our broom is in the kitchen closet. Now furthermore, I am not some cheap, needy whore, and I will not be addressed as such. For starters, you make it sound as if I'm cheating on Edward when, in reality, he left me alone in the middle of the largest forest in Washington, well aware that there was an insane revenge-driven vampire was after my blood. Then, four years and three dead parents later, I ran into Jasper in a club and slowly started trusting him. What's so wrong with me finally being happy again? And finally, 'fucking through the family tree?' I have never slept with ANY man in your family. HE sleeps in my bed because I have nightmares, you insensitive bitch, and because it's nice to go to bed knowing that you're cared about and that you're safe. Now show some respect, or I'll show you the fucking door." I don't believe I have ever been more proud of My Bella… She put Rose in a state of speechlessness. That has never, in the sixty years I've known Rosalie, happened.

"Bella, little sis, breathe and tell me what happened after we left…" Emmett began, but I knew his term of endearment was one wasted.

"No Emmett, you do NOT have a right to call me your little sister- when the time came to make a choice you left without a goodbye. I thought I'd be more upset with my _boyfriend_or my _best friend_, but I never expected my big brother to walk out on me. If I'd expected anybody to stick by me, it was you. So, you want to know what happened after you abandoned me, _big brother?_Well, let's start with spending three hours finding my way out of the woods and coming home to a dead family…"

Bella walked him through the past four years of her life, including EVERY DETAIL she could remember. His description had been far more graphic than mine, and I certainly wished that I hadn't heard it myself. Emmett's emotions went from depression to rage as her story continued, but the one thing that never did go away was his guilt. When she told him about Daniel raping her, he was murderously filled with rage, and I had to control his temper on top of my own. Rosalie's fists were clenched, her head was down, and I could feel her outrage spike. Bella concluded her story with

"And then Jasper found me, and showed me what love was actually supposed to feel like. I won't let you people fuck up my life again, so, if you plan on causing problems, you can walk out that door and never come back, but if you honestly want my forgiveness then stay and earn it."

"I'll do whatever it takes to earn my title again Bells, and I know an apology won't change a thing but I am sorry." Emmett told her- radiating his sincerity. Rosalie didn't say a word.

Bella nodded to Emmett, handling the old nickname better than when I'd first used it, and pulled me by the hand into the kitchen. She silently made herself made herself a sandwich and poured herself a cup of coffee before walking outside and sitting down on the patio furniture. I felt her irritation at the circumstances, and I tried to project a sense of calmness over her- it didn't work.

"You know I've lived here a month; I've lived without nicotine for a month, and this is the first time I have ever WANTED a cigarette." She told me with a laugh, but with all that was running through my head, I simply couldn't find the humor.

"Bella, I have to ask a question… and no matter what the answer I will always be here for you." She motioned for me to continue, "Well, I realize that to human eyes Edward and I are… similar; I also see it possible that your grief has accepted me as an unintentional form of replacement."

I expected a slap- maybe another glass to the face- but instead Bella rose from her chair, expression unreadable, and seated herself in my lap. She hugged me closely to her for a while before she spoke.

"Jasper, you and Edward are similar." She told me; I cringed. "In one way, and one way alone: you are both vampires. Now, let me explain something you've never understood- why I don't have you call Edward right now and have him come fix everything he fucked up. I would never want him in my life again; I'm not the Bella that he knew in Forks, and I do not love him anymore-I never will again. You are not a replacement- you are the man I love." I was shocked, but I felt her love radiating off of her in waves.

"Do you… Do you mean that, Isabella?" I stuttered out the words. Send a pack of newborn vampires at me no problem, but the woman I love- and I'll break down.

"Jasper Alan Whitlock, I love you with all my heart." She said, looking into my eyes as she told me.

"And I, you, Isabella Marie Swan." I told her before carrying her into the house. We said our polite goodnights to our guests and fell asleep –or, in my case, counted chips in the paint on the ceiling- in each other's arms.

The next morning as I showered, I heard Bella go downstairs for her cup of coffee, and Rosalie sat down next to her. This alone made me nervous, seeing as how Bella wasn't exactly "social" in the morning.

"You love him, and he loves you. You've made him the happiest he's been in his entire existence, and although you and I aren't about to be shopping buddies or anything, I respect how you've dealt with everything you've been through. Victoria will not be a threat to you now, and perhaps you and I will always have an aversion of some sort to one another, but my husband loves you, and my brother loves you. Therefore, I will do what I can to insure I accept you as a member of our family."

"Rosalie, I'll be honest with you- you're opinion doesn't mean shit to me, so neither does your approval. However, you are Jasper's family, and that means you're my family whether you like it or not. I love him, and that won't change- no matter how big of a bitch his sister is. You handle yourself well, and I respect that but you aren't going to walk on me. I had enough of that shit with Edward. And speaking of that, you and Emmett are welcome in our house so long as he is not aware of where it is. If you bring that petulant little boy into my home, I'll light your fire myself."

I don't think Rosalie ever replied- maybe she nodded her head- but, soon after, I heard Bella's footsteps on the stairs. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked into our bedroom when I noticed Bella in my closet. She walked back out with her arms stacked chin-high with photo albums.

She paused to look me up and down, licked her lips, and set the albums on the bed. She then turned on heel and marched back into my closet, returning with a set of clothes for me. I changed quickly and sat next to her on the bed, laughing as I remembered me arguing with Alice over being able to pick out my own attire.

"I decided our home needed to look like a home, and I've been trying to obtain photos of my family to frame and hang, so I figured we should do so with yours as well." Bella said with a smile.

We flipped through every book, laughing as I told her why Emmett has poured hot glue and feathers all over Edward, or about my futile attempts at climbing the Tetons without my hands. I'd always had a fondness for photographs, and I made sure that when I came back to Miskeete every year I filled out a new one.

She reacted better than I thought when it came to seeing photos of the entire family, until she came across the final book- knowing she would be in it by the year on the cover. Bella almost didn't bother looking at it. On the first page was a photo which Bella immediately put in our home-decoration pile: Edward had taken it as Emmett and Alice played videogames, while in the background, Esme and Carlisle were hugging Bella, and Rosalie and I were playing chess. She smiled at the memory and moved on, pulling out a photo of Emmett and Rose, and one of Alice and me. I looked at her questioningly when she placed both in our pile.

"She is your best friend; she was my best friend, and I harbor no jealousy towards the love you two once had. I prefer to remember her in positive ways. I have a picture of her with me that I'm also planning on hanging, although neither will be in our bedroom."

I chuckled at that and watched as she finished the photo album. She handed me about twenty pictures and I planned to have them framed the next day while she worked. We then joined hands and walked downstairs to entertain our guests.

Rose and Emmett only stayed for a week, although I was pleased to see that Bella had taken to actually speaking to Rosalie, and she had nearly begun forgiven Emmett. My woman was a grudge holder, with good reason, but really this was immense progress. I was proud that Bella was at least _attempting _to forgive them. Bella and Rosalie even attempted a goodbye hug, although it was awkward at best.

Our first night alone in a week, and we lay in bed that night in the midst of some extremely heavy kissing. She ground her body into mine, and I let out a low moan, which caused her to stop her movements entirely and roll to her side with an apologetic look on her face.

"Jasper, I am so sorry. I must be making this so hard on your thirst… I'm being selfish in pushing your limits." She said with concern.

I looked at her, hoping to convey my disbelief at the situation. "My Bella, I moaned because what you did felt good, not because I wanted you to stop. Although, no matter how far the situation escalates you are ALWAYS free to stop. My control is fine, and to be honest… I've been with human girls without killing them in the past…" I hung my head in shame.

"You don't need to sound ashamed by the fact you've had sex Jasper, you've been alive longer than my great grandmother. Does that mean that is could be… possible… for us?" She asked me quietly, her voice trailing off entirely towards the end.

"Isabella, it is extremely possible for us to be intimate… But I want it to be on your terms, not my own." I informed her as gently as I could.

"My…uhm… I only ever… I've never _willingly_been with a man that way, Jasper." She said shuddering.

I shuddered right next to her, not out of the disgust I felt radiating off of her, but at my own rage over what had happened to the woman I loved.

"Then I will have to insure that it is perfect for you, when you are ready." I whispered in her ear before cuddling to her side.

I rested my head next to hers on the pillow as her breathing evened and she quickly drifted off into a dreamless state. It was then that I noticed her nightmares had yet to make reappearance. Her hours of unconsciousness left me to think to myself about everything that had happened in the path few weeks. The woman in my arms honestly loved me and wanted to be with me, now I couldn't help but wonder exactly how long I would have with her. She'd not once mentioned being changed or the possibility of spending forever with me. Hell, she hadn't even mentioned spending HER lifetime with me, let alone MINE. I wondered how long I could possibly last without Bella in my world. If I still had the ability to sleep, Isabella Marie Swan would be not only the one who ruled my dreams, but the entire reason why I bothered waking up in the morning. I kept myself pondering these things until the sun rose and I safely escorted her to work before going out on a quick hunt.

Tackling down a large elk in the Redwood Forest, I allowed instinct to take control. I released myself to the senses and let my stress and frustrations at recent events overtake my entire thought process. After an hour, I'd satisfied the thirst and was running back home to change out of my blood soaked clothing. I'm sad to say I was not to kind to those deer. I arrived on my own doorstep to see my pixie Ex-wife sitting nonchalantly on my porch step.

"Alice," I didn't even know what to say.

I'd already known she wasn't in the Caribbean, but I sure as hell hadn't expected her to show up in my home, and I wasn't exactly sure that I wanted her within a ten mile radius of myself.

"You love her." Alice simply stated and I nodded in response. "Then tell her I was here, give her the letter I left on your dresser upstairs, and on the night when you two finally give into natural instinct, do NOT mention the rape, because she needs to feel like this bond between the two of you is based out of love, not guilt."

Knowing that questioning the psychic was pointless, I nodded my head and told her, "The way our relationship ended, makes it a bit harder to be calm with you, but you are still my best friend and I genuinely hope you are well. Please go home and be safe."

She hugged me tightly before she waved goodbye and ran off into the desert that is Miskeete. Checking my watch, I realized I had five minutes to pick Bella up. I was there in a flash, and I loved the way her face lit up when she saw me. She waved goodbye to the coworker she'd been chatting with and climbed into the car.

"Hey cowboy, how's your day been? Has anything eventful happened?" She asked in an upbeat tone.

"Uhm, Alice stopped by. She gave us 'her blessing' in her strange way, and left a letter for you in our room- which, by the way, annoys me immensely. I wish she would've taped it to the front door and stayed out of our space, but then again- this is Alice we're talking about." I laughed.

She shrugged and simply stated, "Yes, well I do suppose I'm lucky that the letter isn't in my underwear drawer." before basically shutting down until we arrived home.

No sooner had I shut the front door than Bella had made her way up the stairs and removed the letter from its envelope. I watched as her eyes skimmed the paper and the tears began to roll down her cheeks. A small smile graced her face before she handed me the letter. It read:

_Bella,_

_I need to begin this letter by telling you that I love you, and that had I known of__anything____that'd happened to you in the past few years I would've stayed faithfully at your side that September all those years ago. However, after Edward told me of his decision to leave, I scanned your future, and it was entirely blank- which made me assume that you and Jacob would reconcile, and that was the only plausible explanation. So, believing that you would, in fact, get your happily ever after, I left. That is the biggest mistake of my existence. Edward commanded me not to look for your future, but it didn't make a difference when I did, because it showed up blank- I eventually quit trying, fully assured you were happily moving on from my non-deserving brother with your werewolf. It turns out that Jacob actually searched for you for a while after you went into hiding, and nearly found you multiple times- which made your future entirely un-seeable. This is no excuse to my abandonment of my best friend, and after everything you have been through, I understand your need to keep our lives entirely separate. I have often hoped that one day you and I could reunite, but even now that I have found you, it seems I am too late. The family believes I've been in the Caribbean for the past year or so, when, in reality, I've been looking for you. It was actually part of the reason I left Jasper- I'd known for a while that we weren't true mates, and I hoped that while I was off searching for you he would find her. It seems I was correct, and that brings me endless joy. Anyway, I started with your case in Forks (By the way, I stole your stuff from their evidence locker; it will be mailed to you soon.), and worked my way through the cities you went to. You never made a huge impression, but people recognized your eyes from the photo I gave out. I even encountered a fellow named Daniel who, I'm sad to say, did not live long after meeting my acquaintance. Finally, I tracked you down to the Pink Kitty, where I talked to a young woman, an obviously__very____young woman, about the possibility of her meeting an Isabella. I was then alerted that 'Izzy' [Spunky!] had quit in order to find a better life in a better town. The girl told me she figured you run off with "the blonde stud" that'd been watching after you lately. I have to admit, I was definitely shocked to find that her description matched that of my ex-husband down to his boots. I called Rosalie in regards to the address of Jasper's Miskeete home, and that is how this letter came to you. I made a huge mistake when I left you in Forks- that much I have known for years. I may have been too late to salvage our friendship, but I wanted you to know that I never meant to hurt you, and I was honestly convinced that if we didn't leave you could never be truly happy or safe. Now, I know I was wrong, as was Edward. Or maybe he was right after all: you are truly and honestly happy with Jasper, and I personally believe that you couldn't have made a better choice in where your trust lies. He will never give you a reason not to trust him, and he will never leave your side. Hold him close and love him with all your heart because he will never give you anything less._

_Forever,_

_Alice Jane Brandon_

I honestly couldn't think of a more 'Alice' letter, and Bella looked serene for a moment. She leaned into me and planted a soft, needy kiss on my lips. I pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her, whispering of my love for her in her ear before kissing her again.

"She looked for me; she might have looked too late but, other than Jacob, she was the only one who looked. I used to hope, during that first year, that maybe you'd all go back to Forks to get me, and set out to find me once you realized what happened. I gave that dream up after what happened with Daniel, but you know something? I knew where you were for that first year or so…" I shot her a questioning glance and she explained. "I called the Alaskan Hospital of General Disease, and Carlisle answered the phone, but I hung up."

"Why didn't you just tell him what happened? We would have come and gotten you immediately!" I told her in frustration.

"I never wanted you guys to come back just because I needed you- I wanted you guys to want me as part of your family, with or without Edward." She told me with a small voice. I hugged her to me as the tears fell down her face. I wiped them from her eyes and lightly kissed her lips.

"We have had a long day, Jas. Let's just lie down and relax, alright?" I nodded my head in response and held her close to me as she drifted off into unconsciousness. She stirred throughout her sleep, but her emotions were calm and happy, so I assumed that she was having her first peaceful dream in years.

She mumbled an, "I do…" and it occurred to me for the first time that she might want me for just as long as I wanted her… forever.

The sun rose the next morning, and I swear Bella woke the moment it glazed the sky. She shifted to lay her head on my chest and kissed it lightly.

"Good Morning, Jasper." She said sweetly before coming up to meet my mouth with hers in a passionate kiss.

I was entirely thrown off balance as the heat of the kiss increased and the thread that was my self-control, not in regards to thirst but to desire, was slowly fraying.

"Jasper, I had a dream last night that made me realize something: I want to be with you fully, no limitations. I'm ready." She told me lightly as she reclaimed the kiss.

"I don't want you to feel like this is expected of you, Bella, because the only thing I expect from you is open and honest love." She nodded her head and continued the kiss for just a moment before she glanced at the clock and sighed. She had work in a half hour, her last day before a three day weekend.

I saw her out the door twenty minutes later before making preparations for the night; I wanted to make as memorable to Bella as it would be to me. Though the rape has invaded my thoughts earlier, I knew that it would not make a difference in the fact that, tonight, Bella was allowing a man who loved her to worship her body the way it should have been the first time. I covered the bed in the petals of her favorite flower- yellow roses- and placed vanilla candles all around the room. Although it didn't feel like much, I knew that simple but sweet was always Bella's style, and found comfort in the common trait. Much too slowly, the clock alerted me that it was time for Bella to return home, just before I heard her park the car. I met her downstairs with a kiss and directed her to a guest bathroom where a lavender bubble bath awaited her, along with a copy of her favorite book: Wuthering Heights. She held it in her hand, smiling at the realization that it was HER copy; Alice's promise had followed through.

"Tonight is all about you, my love. I want you to relax and enjoy. Would you like something to eat?"

She shook her head no and told me she'd already eaten that night before she slowly shut the bathroom door. The male instinct part of my brain told me to kick the door down and join her; while the logical side told me I only had a little while longer to wait. I ran up the stairs and quickly lit the candles before returning to the bathroom door with Bella's red silk robe in hand.

"Bella, I'm leaving your robe on the towel rack, so that you won't have to walk around in a towel. Let me know when you get out." I called in as I draped the robe over the rack and exited the bathroom.

"Mhmm." She hummed in response, and I chuckled before closing the door.

A half hour later I heard Bella call my name out, and I placed her hand in the crook of my arm as I guided her up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"Oh my god, this is beautiful Jasper." Bella told me whole heartedly.

"I wanted everything to be perfect for you Bella…" I whispered, not trusting the true stability of my own voice.

She raised herself onto her toes and kissed me with a passion I wasn't aware she had. The kiss soon turned heated, and I found my hands exploring the curves of her body. She lowered her lips to my neck and then began to nip at my collarbone with her teeth. I let out a deep moan as I cupped her breast and she gasped. We quickly made work of each other's clothes, and I ended up on top of her on the bed, savoring the feel of her skin against mine. I kissed my way from her lips to her hipbone, nibbling along the way, and was only spurred on by her moans. My hands soon began to slide down her body, but halted just above the apex of her thighs. I paused for a moment, but every bit of her body language had told me to continue as I rubbed my hand against her. She moaned out my name as I gently pressed inside her and kissed her chest. Her body literally shook with anticipation until I slid a second finger into her, and she screamed out in climax.

"Jasper, I need you." She breathed out.

I removed my fingers and placed an arm on either side of her head, bringing me to her level. My worry took over as I realized that we were one step away from being a bonded soul.

"Are you sure you want this Bella? If I have you now I'll have to have you forever; I won't go on without you." I warned her gently.

"I'm sure, Jasper. I love you." She said, and I very slowly pressed my tip against her opening. She thrust her hips upward, sliding me into her warmness. I elicited a deep groan at the sensation, and found myself pleased as she did the same. We picked up a slow but steady rhythm that soon turned powerful and needy.

"Tell me how long you'll want me Bella. Tell me how long you'll love me." I commanded her softly as I continued to thrust into her in frenzy. Her walls started to contract and she moaned out

"Forever." as we came to our climax together. For long after we were through, I held her to me, not allowing her the opportunity to move. She then turned in my arms to face me.

"I love you." She told me simply, and as I returned the sentiment, I found a question pop into my mind.

"Did you mean it when you said "Forever", Bella? You do realize precisely what I mean by forever, right?"

"I meant every word I said tonight, and I want forever- but only if it's with you. I want you to change me; I want to be there for you for the rest of your existence." Bella told me softly.

I kissed her once again and couldn't keep the smile off my face. She wanted me; she wanted me forever. I hadn't been happier in all my years of life, and I had Bella to thank for that. So as she drifted off to sleep I lay in bed and wondered precisely what lay in store for us, and where we'd be years from now. I was floating on cloud nine, but fully aware that there were most definitely problems in the future- after all, Edward wouldn't be in the dark forever… and we still had a family visit to make.


	11. Drop Your Walls, Let Me In

**A/N: And so the wall of Bella crumbles…**

Bella seemed to be more open mentally, and her emotional gate seemed to have dropped around me. Only when the subject of the family came up did her emotions become absent.

"Do you miss him?" I asked her one day.

It seemed that the word 'him' had been taken up as a replacement of Edward's name, although Bella had no actual issue with using his given title.

"Depends." She said simply, and I noticed the absence of emotion.

"On what, exactly?" I asked, trying to control the hurt that I was feeling.

"On the level of your sanity, and your judgment of emotion."

"Well, then drop the shield. I have no idea how you control those emotions, but I know that you can. If you don't miss him then why won't you let me feel you?" I asked, noticing the edge in my voice but not bothering to correct it. I was focused on my own hurt, instead of her feelings, and it was a damned selfish and stupid thing to do.

"Because I was protecting you, you untrusting bastard." She bit out, and all at once, I was hit with her insane level of emotions:

**RAGE, ABANDONMENT, AND ANGUISH.**

I cried out in pain and dropped to my knees, and the emotions disappeared.

"Let me elaborate on those, since I'm sure you're reading into those the wrong way. When I see that pathetic excuse for a boy I am going to tear him t pieces myself, and dance around his fire. He left me alone in the woods, alone in the world, and I could barely get by. And finally, I saw my entire family walk away from me while my parents bled out in my home. I feel justified in every damn emotion; if you feel the need to question me, you may do so in the morning. Goodnight Jasper, I love you." She told me as she walked up the stairs; I was fully aware there was no invitation in her dismissal.

I waited a half hour before climbing the stairs and curling my body around hers.

"I love you, my Bell. I am so sorry that I misinterpreted what was going on."

She kissed me full on the lips, and slowly pulled my shirt from my body. Soon the kisses turned passionate and we found ourselves moaning out in pleasure as we reached our peaks together. She gasped as she came down from her orgasm and wrapped her body around mine.

"You were man enough to swallow your pride and come apologize, so I couldn't care less. I love you too Jasper, but we will need to talk in the morning." I swallowed harshly and awaited the rising of the sun as my Bella drifted to sleep in my arms.

Bella did not speak throughout her morning routine of coffee, showering, and picking out her clothing. After showering and dressing myself, I came into the bedroom to see my bed covered in multiple outfits and a small suitcase. I wrapped my arms around a very busy Bella's waist and sent her a questioning glance.

"We are going to see your family. You need not carry my grudge, and I don't need to come into a new, vampiric life with a murder list. I need to face my demons and move on with my life. Get packing."

Two hours later we were on a plane to Carlisle's personal African home. It was an inconvenient trip for him to make to work each day, but with the familial situation, he deemed it a necessary sacrifice. I called him halfway through the trip to inform him I'd be visiting immediately, and I heard Esme squeal in the background. Carlisle set up the situation with the jet, and they informed me that my room was precisely how I'd left it, and that Alice and Edward had yet to return. My phone rang just before our wheels hit the ground hours later and I heard Peter's southern accent blare through my phone.

"Today will be a cakewalk in comparison to tomorrow - make sure your bird knows." And I never had the chance to reply before hearing the dial tone.

"Damn it, Peter!" I said angrily.

"He's coming tomorrow, isn't he? Edward, I mean."

I simply nodded at her as I heard her breath sucked quickly through her teeth. She dropped the emotional barrier, and I felt her apprehension and her determination.

"We will make it through this, because we love each other; nobody is going to change that." She told me, and I smiled as we stepped off our plane. No more than a half hour later we stood in front of the Cullen mansion, and crossed their threshold.

We entered the living room and Esme and Carlisle's heads turned quickly at the sound of Bella's heartbeat while Emmett and Rose just got up off the couch to come hug us.

"Bella, is that you? Jasper, is that really her?" Esme said with the venom pooling in her eyes. I nodded and Esme lunged forward to hug Bella, who immediately tensed and stepped away, pulling herself to my side.

"Jasper, let go of her hand and allow her to hug us." Esme told me with Carlisle coming to stand next to her.

I shook my head after a simple glance at Bella, and Carlisle was radiating curiosity and happiness.

"Jasper, thank you so much for bringing our daughter back to us!" Esme said happily.

I felt Emmett and Rosalie's worry spike, but Bella had once again blocked her emotions from me.

"I am NOT your daughter." She told Esme quietly.

"Well, of course you are Bella. We have always thought of you as a daughter." Carlisle told her with sincerity.

Something violent in her snapped, and Bella's rage make me cry out in pain, but it was quickly relieved. It seemed that Bella was willing herself to be calm- demanding it of herself- and I sent the strongest soothing vibes I could muster her way.

She calmly folded her arms across her chest and lightly said "Alright, let's play house then, Mr. Cullen. You can be the daddy who left his daughter to fend for herself in the world, and Esme can be the mommy who let her son abandon her _daughter_ in the woods. Oh, and you can both be the parents to the girl who had to miss her family's funeral because the rest of her _family_ left her within the reach of an insanely sadistic monster of a vampire. Sounds like a fun game, right Doc? Newsflash: THAT GAME IS MY LIFE."

Esme bit out a sob as Carlisle rocked her back and forth, and I could hear her murmuring, "I TOLD you we had to go back. I TOLD you she needed us." repeatedly into his chest.

"Bella, if we'd have known…" Carlisle began, but Bella was having none of it.

"I could've told you, you know. The fabulous Doctor Cullen couldn't disappear without a paper trail, after all, and I knew where you were for eleven months. I damn near called you after arriving in Chicago, but I didn't want or NEED your sympathy. I NEEDED family- a family that didn't stop looking for me- I needed Jacob and Alice. I needed ALL OF YOU, but you all walked away without even bothering to look back. I was not family, or my life wouldn't have turned into the walking Hell that it was. However, I am **definitely**not in the mood to relive the pathetic past I roamed in for the past four years, and I'll leave that to Emmett. Jasper, which way is your room?" I pointed her in the right direction, and she kissed me lightly before heading up the stairs.

"What exactly is going on between the two of you?" Carlisle asked me.

"I don't believe that my relationship should be what is concerning you right now, Carlisle." I said lightly as Emmett sat them down and told them everything that'd happened to their 'daughter' since we left. Esme sobbed through the entire story, and Carlisle's fists were clenched in a rage I'd never felt from him.

"If we'd have known…" Esme told me.

Carlisle interjected with "But we didn't know, and now we need to spend our time earning back the trust we lost."

I nodded my head in agreement and decided to explain the connection between Bella and me, before Carlisle said, "Well, I can't say that I really know how to reply to that. I am happy you and Bella have both found happiness in one another, and I sincerely hope that you and Bella will rejoin our family eventually. As for Edward's impending visit, I can assure you I didn't know about this, and will make sure you have the house to yourselves after until tomorrow, as I am certain that explaining all of this to Edward will be a difficult process. Goodnight son."

Went to Bella and held her through the night, and during the early morning she broke out into a frightened sweat.

"Please, don't… Edward, stay away… Daniel, No!" Bella mumbled before yelling out my name in her sleep.

I shook her awake and didn't notice the entire family filing into the room. She clung to me roughly and mumbled

"Nightmare… Edward and Daniel… They… You weren't there." She cried, and I quickly waved the family out of the room.

I heard them leave the house just as Bella said, "Jasper, I need you to love me…"

"I DO love you My Bell- with all of my soul." But my words were muffled by her kisses, and I realized what she meant as ran my hands down her sides.

I pushed her shoulders back and peppered her chest and shoulders in kisses before gently biting down on her breast. She moaned out in pleasure, and I continued my trail of kisses to the apex of her thighs before I felt her hand weave itself in my hair and gently tug me upwards. I kissed my way back to her throat and gently nibbled on her bottom lip as she dragged her nails down my back. Although faint, the pressure felt empowering, and I quickly found myself positioned above her silky opening. She looked into my eyes and moaned deeply as I entered her.

"Jas, I… I love you." She told me in a gasp.

"I love you too Isabella, forever." I said softly as I kissed her lips.

No sooner had the words left my mouth than I found myself being held against the wall by my throat and looking into a pair of very angry brown eyes.

**A/N: REVIEW?**


	12. I Love the Way You Lie

**A/N: And so Edward comes out to play…**

I stared into Edward's cold, now onyx, eyes and silently wondered if he honestly thought I was pinned to the wall. I looked in his eyes and knew he could hear that I clearly wasn't.

_Now, be a good, respectful young man and wait downstairs while Bella and I get dressed._ I said before blocking my thoughts.

"You have five minutes." He threatened, but he was well aware that I could sense his fear.

He bolted down the stairs, and I heard him seat himself in the squeaking chair in front of the couch. Bella and I dressed silently, and I went down to the living room to give her a few moments to collect herself. Seating myself upright on the couch, I glared at Edward from across the coffee table until Bella entered the room, and we both rose simultaneously.

"Bella, Love, you look so different; it suits you well." He said, and without bothering to monitor the thought he heard,

"_Yup, being thoroughly fucked suits her extremely well."_Edward growled, and Bella rolled her eyes before sitting in my lap.

"Edward, I don't want to hear how much closer to your bullshit standards I am after everything I've been through. I honestly don't care for your approval, and the fact that you DO approve makes me sincerely think about walking into that bathroom and dying my hair green before covering my body in tattoos." At hearing those words, I tightened my grip on her waist, causing her to chuckle. She'd threatened tattoos once before, and I had to describe, vividly, how hideous they were to the vampiric eye.

Edward looked at our position and barred his teeth before his calm façade. "Bella, I've understood my mistake for years now, and I'd been planning on going back to Forks for months! I must admit that I was rather surprised when Charlie answered the door to inform me that you weren't there, love- but in the arms of a monster? That's never where I expected to find you."

Bella stood with tears in her eyes and threw her arms around his neck; he radiated smugness before she smashed the nearest table lamp on his head and seated herself back in my lap. "So, Charlie answered the door? Must've taken quite a bit of digging to get himself up just for you."

Edward sent her a confused look before she continued, "Let me fill you in on something, shall I? You walked away from me in the woods, and two hours later I walked over my threshold to three dead parents and a note from a sadist- so you can take your lies and choke on them for all I care, and the man holding me _is_ a monster." My face fell, and I felt a flicker of hope from Edward.

"So are you, Edward. Would you like to know the difference between the two monsters that I see before me? The monster holding me has ALWAYS held me. When I needed him most, he stepped up to clean up the mess his BROTHER made, and the monster in front of me left me feeling used, worthless, and alone in the middle of a cold Washington forest." She said before placing a kiss on my cheek.

Edward was confused and annoyed, but the highest ranking emotion was somehow confidence.

"Bella, I know he's forcing you into those terrible things, but you don't have to be afraid of him anymore. I will protect you from this day on." Edward said hurriedly. Bella threw her head back and laughed. She kissed my lips gently before whispering in my ear.

"Show him. Show him everything from day one." She demanded, and so I did. Bella stared at Edward's expressions as I ran through her memories:

_Finding Bella dancing on a pole, and getting punched by a random customer._

_Watching Bella have her first nightmare; her explosive reaction to my comfort._

_Holding her every night for weeks._

_Her explosive reaction when I asked to call him._

_Cleaning her house and finding his picture in the junk drawer._

_Listening as she told me of her life sans Edward._

I watched Edward grimace as I recalled how she explained her rape to Emmett, and continued on the proper timeline.

_Her smoking habit._

_Her slitting her wrist to prove how much she trusted me._

_Our first kiss. _

_The day she crossed my threshold._

_Alice's letter._

_Holding her as she slept; listening to her murmurings and dreams about me._

_Her cringing as she begged Edward to leave her alone during her nightmares._

_Our first time; her crying out my name and telling she loved me._

_"__**Tell me how long you'll want me Bella. Tell me how long you'll love me."**_

_"__**Forever."**_

Edward jumped to his feet and yelled "No! You will NOT change her, I won't allow it! I know we've both made some huge mistakes, but we can move past it, Love."

"Edward, if you ever call me love again, I'll light you up and dance around the fire."

"Bella! You don't want to be with him; he has you blindfolded! If he won't show his mind to me, then I doubt he's told you anything!" So, I irritatedly dismissed my mental block, which had me forcing myself to translate the words of an old country song into nine different languages.

"Do you know how many people he's killed? Thousands! Do you know how many OTHER WOMEN he's been with, Bella? 732!" He opened his arms, fully expected her to be disgusted enough to run into them. Instead, she turned to me and laughed.

"Well, you've been a busy boy!" She said before playfully kissing my cheek. She turned to Edward and stood once more.

"Edward, how many people have YOU killed? How many sins have you yet to give penance for? Don't you dare stand there with your ridiculous holier than thou attitude and judge two lives which you haven't been a part of for four god damn years! My life is under MY control, and I love Jasper with all my heart. Absolutely nothing you can do will change that. I never actually made a choice with you, but remember something: I CHOSE to trust Jasper, and I CHOSE to love him and let him love me. YOU now have two choices: Cause more trouble and end up a pile of ashes, or leave now and let me live my life , MY WAY, in peace. "She said dismissively.

She didn't hear a response as she felt a sudden gust of wind, and then we found ourselves alone in the room. SHE didn't hear a response, but I most definitely did.

"This is far from done, Jasper."


	13. Stay With Me?

We'd stayed with the family a few days, but it was uncomfortable for all of us, and Carlisle and Esme were tearing at Bella's patients. It was awkward and it was clear that we needed to return home.

"It's me you know. Jasper, they still love you the same as they did every day you were married to Alice. It's me that isn't welcome." Bella told me as we lay in bed.

"Don't be ridiculous. Bella, they just have no idea how to help themselves out of the hole that they fell in, and our relationship sets them in an odd place- it isn't you at all- it's US."

In response, Bella laid her head on my chest and drifted to sleep. Life seemed almost anti-climactic without the worry or Edward over our heads, and I began to consider the details of Bella's change more precisely when a simple thought occurred to me.

_She could leave you. _

_You could just be her way into our world. _

_She could choose HIM._

I shook my head in disagreement, but the thought rolled around in my head and by morning I was fuming. Bella woke with a small smile and kissed my entirely unresponsive mouth. She sent me a questioning glance and I crashed my lips down on hers hard. I ripped the clothes from our bodies before she pulled back, gasping for air.

"What the hell Jasper?"

I ran my hands over her body, needing to feel the reality; needing to know she was there.

"Tell me you love me Bella." I demanded.

"Of course I love you Jasper."

I pressed my body against hers and slid into her warmth before demanding, "Tell me again."

My motions were swift and hard as she worriedly exclaimed "I love you Jasper. Forever."

I increased the speed of my motions as I whispered quietly in her ear, "Isabella, forever is a horrible thing to be promising to a vampire like me. Forever with me lacks children, a heartbeat, and Edward." His name came out as a hiss on my tongue.

It seemed that this brought her to a full understanding of my emotional distress.

"I don't want forever with Edward; I want forever with you."

This did not satisfy my beast.

"Then let me change you. Let me change you right now and make you mine forever." I demanded.

I didn't hear her heart so much as skip a beat as she looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Do it."

We reached our climax simultaneously, and she took a long breath before my teeth pierced the skin of her neck, and she shrieked out in pain. For the next three days, I monitored her nonstop, and her pain was literally suffocating me. The third and final day, her screams were further apart, and her heartbeat began to slow. I could hear the bones breaking and rebuilding themselves as they strengthened her body and altered her figure. At dusk, I ran to her side as I heard her heart's final beat and watched Bella open her eyes to an entirely new world. I backed up, as not to startle her, and I was surprised to find her in my lap before I'd even finished moving.

"Jasper." She breathed out as she pressed her lips to mine. Her speed had startled me, but I came out of shock quickly. I wondered how it felt to her- I wasn't cold anymore, and I wasn't rock hard. She ran her hands on my jaw and cheekbones and commented

"You're soft. Why?"

"Because, Bell, you're like me now. You're not warm to mean anymore either, because you aren't human." I told her softly.

She tilted her head to the side curiously before asking, "Will you miss it, the warmth, I mean?"

I shook my head no and held her to me. Life forever may be anti-climactic, but forever with Bella would be wonderful, whether she was warm or cold. It was at that moment that I took in her change in appearance- her hips had filled out a bit, along with her chest. The red highlights in her hair became more prominent, her lips a bit fuller, and her face just a tad more symmetrical, but the most apparent change was her bright, amber eyes.

They held a temporary memory of the blood which once pulsed through her veins, but I knew that they'd easily fade into a rich honey color in a month or two. Aside from her eyes, Bella looked entirely like a beautiful human. Until I heard the words that made me fully comprehend her change and grin from ear to ear:

"Jasper, I think I need to eat…"


	14. We Won't Ever Win This Race

_"Jasper, I think I need to eat."_

I chuckled when I noticed that she stared at her feet as she told me.

_A vampire who's subconscious about her eating habits, who'da thunk it?_"

"Bella, you are supposed to want to eat. It's expected."

I grabbed her by the hand and leapt out the window, amazed by how acclimated she'd already become to her strange new form. She ran ahead of me a bit and stopped, winking over her shoulder.

_Ah, it's a challenge she's looking for. Easily done._

We raced to a tree stump about a mile off before I sped ahead of her and into the woods, off to catch my prey. I could hear three different heart beats and decided to go for the one farthest from the others so Bella could hunt solo. A few minutes later, I walked into a clearing to find Bella staring down at herself with wide eyes. She was covered in blood and incredibly primal looking. Oddly enough, I also found it incredibly sexy. She looked up apologetically as she said

"I made a mess. I ruined these clothes."

I chuckled and took her into my arms. Her body was completely still until we got back to the house. She'd yet to speak as I began to run her a bath, and I was beginning to get incredibly concerned. I carefully stripped her and put her in the bath tub before beginning to walk out of the room. When I turned around to tell her I loved her, I noticed her staring at her hands. I walked back to the tub and sat on the edge, rolling up my sleeves. I picked up a washcloth and began washing her torso and arms. For a moment, I was exceptionally confused when she moaned.

_Extra sensitivity... right. Need to remember these things, Jasper._

I was careful as I finished washing her, and she seemed to handle getting dressed fairly well.

"Everything feels different now, Jasper. Everything looks different too." She told me.

"How?"

"I can feel the dirt on the walls, the blood soaked into my pores, and you aren't cold anymore. The carpet isn't just red anymore, either. It's orange and pink and yellow! And my hands… They aren't just pale. I see the veins and the blood resting in them. It's so… different." She said like a confused child.

I kissed the top of her head and smiled, explaining that it was entirely normal. Then, realizing she no longer needed to sleep, I took her on a run. Bella threw her head back and laughed as she felt the wind rushing through her hair. She held my hand and kissed it from time to time as we ran through the states. For hours, she pointed out stars and all the different colors of the trees until we finally turned around and headed back to the house.

As we stepped on to the property, we sat and I watched Bella's face as she watched the sunset for the first time through vampiric eyes. She leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips, putting her hand on the side on my face. I kissed her back and nipped her bottom lip gently, making her moan. She continued to kiss down my body until she reached the collar of my shirt and began undoing the buttons. I quickly pushed her hand away. Thinking it was a game, she tried again, only to get the same response. She then slid herself into my lap and tried again. I pushed her off me and ran back to the house. She was next to me in less than a second.

"Jas, come here." She said demandingly.

I shook my head and took a step back, only to have her match my step and reach out to unbutton my shirt.

I threw her hands from me and yelled

"God damn it, Bella! Don't fucking touch me!"

She stepped back and stared, mouth open, in confusion. I watched the venom pool in her eyes before she turned on heel and ran from me. I mentally kicked myself, realizing I'd made one big mistake… I ran out into the forest searching for Bella, and after four hours I realized I'd taken too long thinking about running after her to actually catch up with her when I did. I ran home and found Bella hanging from her knees on the railing of the second level.

"What're you doing, Bella?" I asked worriedly.

"Waiting for you to get home." She said before swinging down and landing on her feet in front of me. "Waiting to figure out why I suddenly disgust you."

"Bella, you've never seen…"

She interjected with "I've seen you with your shirt off, Jasper. It's not like I've never seen a man shirtless before."

"I never said you hadn't." I told her, irritated.

She rolled her eyes.

"I've seen the scars, Jasper. Pick a new excuse. Did you just get bored without your warm little playtoy?"

"Fuck you, Bella. Just… Fuck you." I told her before deciding to walk away. Classically Bella, I felt a glass crash against the back of my head as I walked away.

_Why do we even have glasses anymore?_

As I ran I hunted at random, wherever I heard a heartbeat. If she wanted to talk instead of listen, so be it, but I didn't need to put up with it.

So, I ran.

And I ran.

And I ran.

And I ran.


	15. Tell Me You Love Me

**A/N: I just love doing this- going back and improving my story. I can't believe I'm almost done.**

I looked up and saw the Tennessee state line before I stopped running. I slowed to a walk and then sat on a bolder near the welcome sign. Nightfall was approaching and I realized I'd just left a newborn vampire alone for her first sunlight.

_Fuck it. She wanted to talk, she can talk to herself. I think I'll jog back._

And so I did. It was sunrise the next morning before I set foot in the house, and there was Bella- lying on the couch with an encyclopedia. I stood in front of her and waited for it to be thrown at my head. But all I got in response was

"Jasper, will you move please? You're blocking the light, and it's making the page look odd."

So I moved; she kept reading. I lifted the corner of the afghan she was laying under up and asked

"What's with the blanket? Your body temperature isn't affected by climate."

"It's a Human Habit, I suppose." She said disinterestedly and then continued to read.

I stood there watching her for a few moments before she looked up again and said, "I went to bed last night. I laid there for eight hours alone with nothing to do- you must've gotten so bored while I was asleep every night as a human."

"I listened to you mumble. It kept me occupied." I told her before walking upstairs. I tuned around for a moment and said, "I'm sorry I ran away from you, Bella." But received no response.

Out of boredom, I reorganized my closet, Bella's, and the shelves in the library before I took a shower. Afterwards, I sat down and read for a few hours. Bella came into the room, looked at the shelves, rolled her eyes, and walked back out.

_What the hell? Where's the screaming? The fighting? _

I sighed and hoped that she'd realized why I'd left and decided it wasn't worth pushing the issue. Doubtful, I went downstairs and asked Bella if she'd like to watch a movie with me. She finished washing the already clean dishes and then nodded. I picked a classic, The Phantom of The Opera, and sat myself on the couch. Bella turned the light off and sat a few inches away from me. Had she still been human, I'd have thought nothing of those three inches, but as a vampire her sense of distance was impeccable. She'd calculated those exact three inches. Calling myself paranoid, I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her toward me a bit only to have her spring up immediately to "get a blanket". When she returned, she pressed her back against the opposite arm of the couch with her feet curled beneath her. In response, I crossed my arms and waited for the movie to come to an end. Bella rose immediately and I beat her to the doorframe.

"Thank you for watching the movie with me, Bella." I said, sending her a wave of appreciation.

"Please don't send me waves. I can't tell the difference between yours and mine. And you are welcome, Jasper."

"Can I have a kiss?" I asked hopefully.

She leaned forward and planted a cool, tight peck on the corner of my mouth. I hugged her unresponsive body and watched her walk out the back door.

"When will you be back?" I asked.

"Between sunrise and next Thursday, most likely, but you never know." She told me before taking off.

Well, she had one thing right.

"You never know."

Like I didn't know whether she was dead or alive for the next two and a half weeks. She strolled in one Wednesday with a new streak of black in her hair, and fake acrylic nails.

"Where've you been? How did you go into a city?" I questioned.

"I didn't. Alice saw me running around randomly through highways and forests and decided to pick me up. She figured I'd like a little make over. I did. We hung out and lost track of time." She told me.

I ran to her and hugged her and planted small kisses all over her face.

"With Alice... You were with Alice. I'm just glad you're okay. I love you."

"She warned me you'd get emotional. No worries, I'm fine." She told me before walking up to our room.

_ENOUGH!_ My inner beast told me. _Three fucking weeks! She's gone three fucking weeks and you don't even freak out when she gets back. Three weeks and she won't kiss you. FUCK THIS._

I ran up the stairs and pinned her against the wall. Newborns are strong, but I've been alive nearly half a millennium, and she had no shot of getting away. She fought hard and attempted kicking and scratching me, so I held her wrists to the wall and demanded

"Tell me you love me."

She continued to fight, and I became more persistent.

"Tell me you fucking love me, Isabella!"

I pressed my body against hers and felt her seething rage radiating off her skin.

"What's this about? This about this house? We can move! Is it about me reorganizing the library? Then change it back! If you've decided you want the moon, then I will find a way to give you the fucking moon! And if this is about Edward, then go fuck Adonis! All I have ever wanted was to make you happy!" I yelled.

She yelled back "You want to make me HAPPY? You don't even fucking WANT me. I tried FOUR GOD DAMN TIMES to be intimate with you, and you disappeared for twenty four hours!"

"That's what this is about? FINE!" I screamed and ripped open my shirt. I felt her shock spike and watched her eyes grow.

"Happy now? They look different when you can actually see them, don't they? Not just thin lines anymore, are they? Nope. Now you can see the thick teeth marks, can't you? There goes "perfect". Now here, let me go get my cellphone and you can call up Edward and have him come get you. I'm sure he'll get over the "soul-less" thing eventually.""

I was turning around to leave the room when Bella pushed me onto the bed. She ran her hands across my chest and then allowed her instinct to take over. She licked my wounds, an attempt to heal them although they'd already been healed, and then kissed my lips dominantly. She stared back down at my chest and sank her teeth deep into the left side of my chest. I groaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure and watched as she looked up at me with her eyes wide.

"Oh Jasper, I am so sorry."

**A/N: Oh yes, Momo is back, baby!**


	16. Instinct

**A/N: The last chapter was hard for me to read/edit. It was written because I'd finally reached that point where my scars and wounds were healed, and I cried the entire way through that chapter.**

"Bell, it's okay. It was instinct." I explained as she stared at the now pure white circle over my heart.

She pressed her tongue to it for a moment more before looking into my eyes.

"I hurt you. You screamed out. I'm so sorry." She said.

"Bella, it felt amazing- you wanting me so badly that you did that… You… You love me."

She kissed me softly for the first time in weeks and said, "Yes. Yes, Jasper. I love you."

My Beast was released after finally hearing the words, and Bella welcomed him easily. I flipped her onto her back and pulled the clothes off her body fiercely.

"Say it." I demanded.

She moaned "I love you" as I bit teasingly on her collar bone.

I pinned her arms above her head with one hand and pulled my clothes off with the other. I then threaded that hand through her hair and pulled hard.

"Again."

"I love you." She moaned out.

And she screamed out as I thrust into her harshly and pulled harder on her hair. I was shocked at my own dominance with her. I'd known I had it, but was never this rough with Bella- human or not. I pounded into her, nearing climax, and demanded once more.

"Say it, my Bella. Say it."

She fell over the edge of orgasm and yelled,

"I love you, Jasper!"

"MINE!" I roared as I spilled into her.

I clamped my teeth down on her neck and felt her body shake in another orgasm as my venom threaded into the bite mark I'd left on her neck. The pure white mark stood out on her tan skin, and I licked the wound to seal it. I continued to kiss the mark and whisper "mine." She looked at me a bit confused and asked,

"Where's Alice's mark? The one she left you?" as she inspected my chest and arms.

I chuckled. "Oh Bella… Alice wasn't my mate. We both knew it for years."

She tilted her head, and I knew she didn't understand. I lay next to her with my hand pressed against her Mark and explained,

"Bell, humans have a chemical in their brain that triggers the emotion of true love when their body finds that another being is chemically compatible. With vampires, it's very similar; we have Singers and Mates. A Singer and a Mate aren't the same, however. Your singer will desire none but your blood, while your Mate's emotions will be much more complicated. Vampires have an instinct that triggers upon the sight of their soul mate. When that instinct first kicks in, the desire is ignorable. After spending an amount of time together, like when I moved into your apartment, the instinct becomes more and more dominant. Mated pairs are made for one another. Eventually a pair of mates will feel the need to show possession and love by marking each other. And while a vampire can bite another, only a Mate's bite will be the purest of whites, and when another vampire touches the Mark, your mate can feel it, and that vampire's hand will be singed with pain. It's a primal way of showing possession. "

"But…" She began. "But then why did I bite you when I did? I saw what they did to you and I just…"

"Your instincts told you to protect and claim, which is exactly what you did." I told her, smoothing her hair.

She kissed my lips softly and sighed as she laid her hand on my Mark. Her hand felt warm against my chest, and we shut our eyes in rest. When the sun came up we spoke again.

"Bella, I need to go into Vegas for something today. I'd bring you with me, but I think it's best you wait a while to go into the city. Will you be alright while I'm gone?" I asked worriedly.

She nodded and kissed my chest. "I'll clean something or work on my control of my strength. I... _might've_ put a dent in the rail of the staircase, although I think I'll stick to blaming you on that one."

I chuckled and kissed her goodbye as I put my shoes on at human speed. Heading into the city wasn't something I would enjoy, but I couldn't wait to pick up Bella's ring. I'd ordered it while she was away, knowing that she felt unloved and realizing we both had very human traditions.

The name _Isabella Marie Whitlock _rolled around in my head as I drove into Vegas. I went as fast as possible and was out of the jeweler's in minutes. I put the ring box in my pocket and started driving back home when my phone chirped.

"Jasper here."

"Get home. NOW!" I heard Peter demand.

"Peter what's wr-"

"I'll explain when I get there. Hurry the fuck up!" he interrupted.

I pulled off the highway, threw open my door, and started running home. It took me ten minutes before I threw open the door to the house and breathed in the air.

_She isn't here._

I ran through every room of the house, breaking down doors and searching rooms. I ran the property four times before accepting that Bella wasn't there. I ran back to the house searching for a note of some kind when Peter and Charlotte ran through the door.

"Did you get here in time?" Charlotte asked, but before I could answer, Peter did.

"Of course he didn't. I told you he wouldn't!"

"Peter? What's going on? Where's Bella?" I yelled.

"Bella's gone."


	17. Paint Me Beautiful

**A/N: I absolutely adore the next two chapters! For me, they symbolize the importance of gratefulness and love and memories P.S. APOV stands for Anon. Point of View**

APOV

Bella sat on the bed inhaling Jasper's scent for a few moments after he'd left. Afterwards, she went down the stairs and picked up a wooden spoon from a drawer. She wrapped her hand around it, as if she were about to cook, and tried to exert the minimum amount of force. It was surprising, to her, how incredibly difficult it was; the spoon fell to the floor and broke in half.

"You've become a monster." She heard from behind her.

She whipped around to see Edward leaning against the wall and taking in her new form with an irritated look upon his face.

"Edward. What the hell are you doing here?" She yelled.

He wrapped a hand around her wrist and grinded the bones together. He smirked when she yelped in pain. She stared down in shock, annoyed at how easily she'd allowed herself to be thrown off guard. She tore herself from his grasp and sent him into a wall.

"Love, you have two choices. I can run and go attack all those who remain even mildly dear to you- Jasper, Alice, maybe Emmett, Rose…. OR, You can come along with me and we can find a more pleasant arrangement." Bella didn't go for the threat.

"He'd tear you apart in a half a second." She told him indignantly.

Edward sighed and responded with a whistle. Five obviously newborn vampires bolted into the room.

"Let me rephrase, Bella. Get up and climb onto my back or they'll rip you apart. Kill or injury me, and they'll still rip you apart, however they'll also pay visit to the McCarthy household and your darling Jasper." He sneered.

Bella opened her mouth to reply but thought better of it and climbed onto his back. He sighed in satisfaction and placed his hands over hers on top of his Adam's Apple. She was surged with a feeling of disgust and betrayal. She considered asking if she could leave Jasper a note, but with Edward's current mood, she decided it was best to remain entirely silent. He took off, and she glanced back just once more at the house that had come mean the world to her. That house was love, healing, her future, and she was being whisked away from it.

_Oh Jasper… What will you think when you get home? _She wondered.

She pressed her hand to her mark but quickly moved it before Edward noticed. They ran for hours before finally stopping. Bella looked up at the large house in front of them. The windows were large and the exterior walls, a pale yellow. Bella was certain of one thing that from this day forward, whenever she pictured Hell, it would look exactly like this.

"Welcome home, Love." Edward said warmly. He released her legs from around his waist and grabbed her hand.

"Is Jasper here?" Bella asked.

Edward was surprised and mildly condescending when he responded with, "Of course he isn't, Bella."

She glanced back at him and then continued walking forward, saying loudly "Then, obviously, this isn't home."

She heard him growl but continued walking until she got to the door, fully aware that Edward's little newborns would be guarding her. Edward grabbing her hand and walked her, at human pace, up four flights of stairs and into a large room with red and black striped walls that she knew would drive her nuts. Then she noticed the large bed in the center of the room and chuckled as she glanced his way.

"Forget I wasn't human anymore? Or did you think that by taking me away from him I'd magically fall for you?"

He smirked. "You'd be amazed how much you'll come to appreciate me once I'm your only source of necessities. Now then, I suspect you may wish to redecorate. I'll have one of the boys bring up some paints and a catalogue for you to decide on some new décor. Feel free to paint our room whatever color you'd like; I'll be pleased as long as it isn't stripes."

He left the room and a thin, blonde newborn brought up multiple cans of paint, varying sizes of brushes, and four department store magazines along with a pair of scissors to cut out the things that she wanted. Bella started with the catalogues, seeing that this was all that was left in the room for entertainment. She cut out the most expensive, hideous, striped pieces of furniture that she could find and then decided to paint. The bathroom she simply painted a hazel brown, in memory of his eyes, which she'd never see again. When she walked back into the main room she picked up the largest paint brush and painted an entire wall a sky blue.

She then added very realistic clouds and a sunrise. The recreation from her memory would never be the same as the real thing, but it was all she had left. She left the figures for last as she added the trees, their house, and the land. She vividly recalled kissing Jasper that morning, the first time she'd seen the sun rise, before he'd run from her. She wanted to treasure that moment forever, but in fear of enraging Edward more than she already had, she decided upon painting them holding hands on the hill instead. She spent only seconds on her self-portrait, but made sure to get every detail of Jasper's figure correct. She painted his messily curled hair with all the right highlights and mixed the grey and blue to get the exact shade of the shirt he'd worn that day. When she finished that memory she did the same with the other three walls, portraying the first time she kissed Jasper, one of the more pleasant days of Rose and Emmett's visit, and finally the night he marked her- his hand pressed against her mark and hers against his.

She felt the venom pool in her eyes as she sat in a dry corner, looking at all four walls. She stacked the paint cans neatly by the door and then noticed the burning thirst in the back of her throat. She heard Edward's footsteps and a light knock outside the door, and then he opened it. He didn't bother to look at the walls for a moment as he took out the paints and catalogues, chuckling at Bella's selections. Moments later he reentered the room and began,

"You have hideous taste, Bella. I think I'll just pick it out my… What the hell is on these walls?" He said, slamming the door as he fully entered the room. He started by glaring at the hillside picture, rolling his eyes at the one of Emmett and Rosalie, and punching a hole through the one of Bella and Jasper kissing. He didn't, however, seem to notice the painting behind him. His rage only worsened when he noticed Bella praying.

"How dare you ask for help from a God which you have damned yourself from!" When he was through shouting, he actually paid attention to her words.

"Don't let him see. Please, God, Don't let him see."

He whirled around and took in the intimate picture before him. Seething in his rage he turned around and pulled Bella to her feet by her hair.

"HE MARKED YOU? HE MARKED **MY **MATE! HOW DARE HE! YOU ARE NOT HIS!" He bellowed.

"Yes, I am." Bella whispered.

Edward shoved her onto the bed and smashed his lips against hers. Bella felt as if she'd vomit. She knew she could stop him, but then the others would kill Jasper, and she couldn't let that happen. He kept his lips in place, waiting for her response, but realizing that it wouldn't come. He continued to kiss down her jaw until he reached the mark Jasper had left on her neck. He angrily pressed his lips against it and screamed out in pain seconds later.

"NO!" He screeched. "No! You're mine! Tell me you're mine, Bella!"

"No."

He tore the clothes from her body and inspected the rest of her, grateful not to find another mark. He breathed in her scent and his rage returned as he continued to smell the rest of her body.

"You smell like him." He stated, foregoing emotion. "I'll show you who you belong to."

He ran his hand down her leg and brought her foot up to his face, pleased to find that this particular part did not reek of Jasper's scent.

Bella screamed out in pain as he sank his sharp teeth into the diamond-like skin of her ankle.


	18. You Don't Want To Know

**A/N: I just… wow… I'm almost done. I feel like I'm closing a book :'(**

**-Momo :3**

JPOV

"What the hell do you mean by GONE, Peter?" I screamed.

"Edward has her, Major, Edward and a handful of newborns."

I looked to Charlotte, who was focusing on her senses so she could read the mood of the situation. It always amazed me how a similar power was transferred to her, simply because it was I that changed her. Refocusing on the situation, I stared as she moved about the house. She stood in the kitchen for a few moments in deep concentration and then nervously informed me

"She wasn't dragged out of the house, but I sense that there was some underlying threat that I just can't quite pick up on."

The answer made me nervous.

_What if she changed her mind? _

_What if she never meant to mark me? _

Then I felt warmth on my chest and knew she was touching hers. I pressed my hand over my heart and hoped she could feel it too. Peter inspected the room and stated what we all already knew:

"He has newborns- five to seven of them. They're human fed, and the trail says they headed west."

I started out, following Bella's scent across the state line. _They're headed straight. What the hell- is he seriously going to make it this easy on me? I thought he was smarter than this. _And then I stopped at the California shore line.

I fell to my knees on the beach and screamed. "FUCK."

The humans stopped their playing to stare at me in confusion, as I gripped the sand tightly in my hands in rage.

Peter put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll find your bird, Jasper. Let's go swimming."

We dove into the water at a ridiculous speed and swam towards Washington, going with our first guess. Swimming at human speed for the first two miles slowed us down more than I'd have liked, but what choice did we have? We were staring at the threshold of the Cullen's Washington Home and hour and a half later. I ran through every room of the house in a fury, and bolted back out the door. I left behind broken doors and crumbled railings, but couldn't care less.

"Not here. Alaska." I said shortly before rushing back toward the ocean.

There were no humans when we reached the water, and we swam through the ice as quickly as we could. Halfway through the ocean, I had to pause a moment. The slight tinge that had been festering on my chest tingled just a bit more, and I began to worry.

I looked to Charlotte and solemnly said, "He's touched her mark. He'll be infuriated now that he's discovered it."

Peter was astonished. "You marked her?"

"Of course I marked her; she's my m- AGHHHH!" I screamed out in pain and let myself sink to my knees on the ocean floor. I continued to scream under water until the searing pain in my ankle slowly disappeared.

When I rose again, almost ten minutes later, I told Peter, "I don't know what this means."

Charlotte seemed to be biting her tongue, but I was too concerned about Bella to ask. We inspected the Alaskan home just as night fell and were disappointed but not surprised to see that Edward hadn't brought her there.

_Phoenix. He saved her there- he'll want to remind her._

I clenched my teeth at the memory of what happened in the ballet studio. Carlisle was the only person who saw what I saw- Edward didn't want to stop. She was already as pale as a ghost when we pulled him off her. Carlisle congratulated him on doing it, but I knew what Edward had felt at that moment, and I didn't believe he deserved anything a lighter to the lips. His emotions disgusted me: thirst and lust. It aroused him to watch the life slowly wane from her eyes- he loved it. I would've killed him myself if Emmett hadn't needed help with that foreign vampire. And when Edward promised her, that day in the hospital, that he wouldn't leave her- I'd felt the dishonesty behind his words.

"Keep it to yourself, Jasper. They'll be fine in the end." Alice had told me.

_Oh yes, very fine indeed, dear wife. He left her to die and now he might just kill her himself._

These thoughts running through my mind had kept me going, and the three of us continued swimming and running well into the afternoon. Peter and Charlotte demanded that I stop and feed before entering the Phoenix city limits, and I accepted their advice grudgingly. I'm rather sorry I was so vicious with the few animals that I'd caught, but my rage was seething within me, and I couldn't help but take it out on _something_. We quickly ran through the ballet studio, Renee's apartment, and the hotel that Alice and I had protected her in. Another memory entered my mind:

"_**I can feel what you're feeling now – and you are worth it."**_ She'd stared at me as I'd lost it.

_Oh my Bella, you are so very worth it. Even then, I loved you. I'm sure of it_

Then another thought came into my mind- the first time I'd lost her_._

"_**Can Jasper come with me?"**_ To the BATHROOM.

How Alice and I hadn't figured that one out was beyond me.

"_**To keep me calm." **_

She didn't want me to calm her, she wanted to be left alone in the bathroom to plan her little escape, and there I stood at the door for eight and a half minutes, wondering if she had a bladder infection. Finally, I got smart enough to crack open the door and breathe in search of her scent. It wasn't there, and she was gone.

_**"It wasn't your fault Jasper. I have to have you know that I never blamed you."**_

_I WILL NOT LET HER GET HURT. NOT AGAIN!_

My desperation kicked in as night fell, and I couldn't think of a single place to search. I was literally running in large circles to keep my mind occupied until my ankle burned again. The pain was worse this time, and yet I did not scream. I bit into the earth and waited for it to pass. Looking up, once more, into Charlotte's concerned eyes.

"What's happening to her?" I demanded.

Charlotte kissed my cheek and shook her head.

_You don't want to know._ Her eyes silently told me.


	19. Twisted Little Ringmaster

**A/N: I just want to say that I love all of you, and you all mean the world to me!**

**-Momo :3**

**APOV:**

Bella lay beneath Edward, completely terrified. He was violating her, trying to claim her. The bite on her ankle stung endlessly as he ran his hands across her body. He pressed his nose to her skin as his hands ran against her. Infuriated, he pulled her to her feet and shoved her into the bathroom.

"You reek of him. Shower."

He stood against the wall and watched as she scrubbed her skin raw. She didn't want Jasper's scent gone, but Edward's hands were still burning against her body. She felt dirty and disgusted with herself. She'd let him touch her- she no longer deserved Jasper. She deserved the pain Edward caused. Still, she continued scrubbing her skin until the bar of soap had dissolved entirely. Edward left for a brief moment and returned with black paint and a towel. She stepped out of the shower and covered her face in shame as he dried her. He then sat her on the bed and made her watch as he painted every wall in the bedroom black. She felt as if he were confiscating her memories, and the venom in her eyes burned with a fire she'd never felt before.

"Where are my new clothes?" she asked him.

He glanced over his shoulder and then back to the drying walls.

"You don't deserve them. You're filth." He told her before walking out of the room.

Edward didn't come back in the room for hours, and night began to fall once more. He dropped a dead buck on the floor and sat on the bed. Bella hadn't realized how hungry she was until she felt the blood on her throat. Satisfied, she curled into a ball in the corner, awaiting Edward's inevitable cruelty.

"I've made more newborns, because of your disobedience. There are nearly thirty now, very well trained. Not that it matters, Jasper's on a false trail through the Pacific Ocean, and if my connection comes through well in Volterra, you'll have a different scent by next month. "

She didn't acknowledge him, but instead focused on Japer.

_How long would he keep searching? _

_Would he ever mate with another?_

She hoped so- he deserved happiness. Edward kicked her in the cheekbone. It crunched under his strength, and she screamed out in pain. The bone slowly started to heal itself as he threw her onto the bed. He pressed his mouth against her mark and screamed.

"You WHORE. Tell me. Tell me who it is that you belong to!"

She meekly said, "Jasper."

He wrapped his hand around her throat and squeezed, seeming to forget that she didn't breathe. He then smelled every inch of her skin and, in a fury, bit into her ankle again. He looked into her eyes and calmly told her,

"I'm going to kill him. If he finds his way here- he will die."

He then bit into her ankle once again and was suddenly on his knees screaming.

"Make it…. Make it STOP! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Moments later Edward stopped screaming and glared at her with terrified eyes.

"How… How did you do that? You made it all happen again. All of it… Victoria… but it was worse. How the hell did you manage that?" But Bella realized her own power and what she had seen and was infuriated.

"That's why you left? For the vampire that tried to kill me? That killed my family? You… You KNEW! YOU MONSTER. I'm glad they killed her! I'm glad you had to see it. I hope you die the same way as your sick little whore!"

"ENOUGH!" He screamed. He took her hands and twisted them, breaking both her wrists and smiled at her pain.

She wept on the floor as he left the room. Her ankle ached, but she kept herself calm by pressing her hand against her mark. He could try to strip her of every tangible memory in the world, Jasper's love for her would always be held to her by that small mark on her neck, and his venom would always flow through her veins.

She lay there and thought about her interesting new power. She didn't mean to do what she did, but he threatened to hurt Jasper, and Bella would never let that happen. So, she focused on hurting him, and suddenly realized she could flip through his memory. She searched for the thought that caused him the most pain and saw Emmett tearing Victoria to shreds.

_Edward couldn't be seen, or they'd know what he'd been doing for the past three years. So he sat on the highest branch of the tree nearest to him and watched his mate be ripped and burned, but she was good for him. She locked eyes with him and knew she couldn't scream for him or they'd know. So instead, she focused on thoughts of their twisted love. His heart was dead as her ashes blew away in the wind._

Bella then focused on Edward's pain and amplified it as much as she could. It pleased her immensely that she could cause him that pain and she sincerely hoped she could do so again. For hours, she focused on that thought until the blonde vampire and three others entered the room. Edward was behind them with a look of hatred on his face.

"From now on, they will be in the room whenever I am. Their minds are blank and lack material for you to manipulate. If you hurt me at all they will cover your entire body in bites and let you burn. If you defy me, Jasper will die. Understood?"

Bella nodded. Edward then followed his usual pattern of actions, but just before the bite, stopped and ran down stairs. He walked back into the room with a smirk.

"Bella, we have company. Come down stairs and meet them."


	20. He Gave Me the Moon

**A/N: Wow, I flew through this story fast. It meant so much to me though… I had to. I love this, and I'm sorry that my generally bitchy persona has fallen, but I needed to just kinda let y'all in and show you how this story came to be.**

JPOV

I continued my running for another hour while trying to come up with places that Edward could've taken Bella. Every time I came up with a plausible location, Peter and Charlotte poked holes in the idea.

"Too sunny."

"Too populated."

"Nowhere to feed."

I screamed out in frustration and went back to my circles. We continued this process for hours while I had a connection tracing Edward's credit cards. It came back with nothing of use, and our stress levels rose. Peter and Charlotte went into the city for an hour or so to find a suitable drug dealer to feed from, and I started digging deep holes in the surface of the earth. Charlotte pulled my hands out of the ground and used the back of her earring to scrap the dirt from underneath my nails. For a moment I allowed myself to focus on her ears. Such an interesting trend she'd developed- taking a broke sliver of vampire tooth to poke a hole in her ear large enough for an earring. I shook myself out of thought at the clearing of some one's throat. I looked up quickly to see something I hadn't been expecting: Alice.

"Get up, Jasper."

"Where is she?"

"Montana. He ran her in circles so she'd have no clue where they were. I tried calling to tell you, but your phone isn't working." She told me.

I mentally kicked myself for all the swimming. Alice took off at top speed, and we all followed directly behind her. An hour later we were crossing the Montana state line, and I was mentally listing the different ways I could kill Edward. I spoke over my shoulder to Peter,

"When we get there, start a fire and start killing them off."

"There are about two dozen of them now, so we need to be careful." Alice said.

No sooner were we on the property than the newborns began lining up on the porch. They parted for Edward to walk out with Bella. My eyes went red with fury as I saw her unclothed state.

_He's been raping her._

I charged forward and was swarmed with newborns.

"Jasper, just leave. Go, please! They'll kill you!" Bella screamed.

And it suddenly made sense- why she willingly went with him. She thought I'd get hurt. I tore vampires apart left and right until I got to Edward. He was shocked to see me in front of him, but when I wrapped my hand around his throat, he knew his fate was certain. He bit into my hand and suddenly dropped to his knees in pain.

"VICTORIA!" He screamed.

Bella smirked at him and then curled into a ball as far out of view as she could get. I had no idea what'd happened to Edward, but I didn't wait to figure it out. I tore him apart slowly to insure he got the maximum amount of suffering out of the experience and then spat on his face.

"Never touch someone else's mate." I told him before throwing his parts into the large fire.

Alice, Charlotte, and Peter were throwing the remaining newborns into the flames. Peter turned to me,

"Take her back to your place in Nevada, but come down to Texas soon. She needs Char right now."

I nodded and they all ran off in separate directions. I turned back toward the house and pulled Bella into my arms.

"My Bella, where are your clothes?"

Her bottom lip trembled as she told me, "I didn't deserve them."

I unbuttoned my shirt and rebuttoned it around her small frame before kissing her forehead and telling her, "You deserve the world and more."

Bella didn't speak the rest of the way home. She climbed from my arms and walked into the shower immediately. I watched her scrub herself as hard as she could for a moment before climbing into the shower with her. I took the soap from her and gently ran it over her body. She shook her head, took the soap from my hand, and scrubbed harder. It took a moment before I understood what she was wordlessly expressing.

"I'm so sorry…. I let this happen. I let him rape you."

She looked up at me with her gorgeous, darkening amber eyes and said quietly "He didn't rape me. He didn't touch my… Just everything else. He wanted me to smell like him. He tried to mark me."

I scanned her body and then saw the three thick circles around her ankle. I growled under my breath and felt the feelings of disgust and worthlessness radiating off her skin. I kissed her softly.

"You're mine. You're my wonderful Bella, and you _are _worth it. You mean the world to me, and I understand why you left. Please understand, from now on, that I will always be able to defend you. Now, I need you." She nodded and I scooped her up in my arms and carried her up the steps. I laid her on the bed and softly ran my hands down her body, worshipping every inch down to her ankles. She lifted her head and looked into my eyes.

"Cover them. Please, Jasper."

And so I did. I gave her a mildly painful anklet of my bite marks, and when I was through Edward's were no longer visible. The next few hours were filled with our passionate need, and when Bella went down stairs to get my clothes from the bathroom, neither of us wanted to be separated. Seconds later I heard her open the bathroom door.

"J-Jasper?" She called out.

I ran into the bathroom to see her turning around with the open ring box in her hand. I'd forgotten it was in my pocket. I looked down at the ring and then at her- she did the same.

"What is this?" She asked me.

"It's yours. If you want it…"

**THE END **

**-Momo :3**


	21. Entering Grace

**I know, I said sequel… but the thing is that I'd rather let y'all imagine it. So instead- HONEYMOON! SHORT AND SWEET :D**

Her dress flowed off her hips, and I don't think I had ever been more in love with an article of clothing. She was the most beautiful thing to ever walk, and somehow it to enhance that. The slit in the side showed my bite marks around her ankle, and my mark glowed on her neck, just visible above the lace of the neckline. I could feel the love she was sending me, and I sighed in relief.

"She truly is beautiful." Peter told me as Jacob walked her towards me.

_Ahh yes, a sweet wedding gift from Alice- _One of many, honestly.

Although I think we gave her an even better gift- Barbie Bella and the title of Wedding Coordinator.

The Cullens were all there, The Denali Sisters, and for whatever reason, Aro. In the past four months of Bella discovering her abilities, he'd not once pushed for her to join them, but instead came in sporadic visits, greeting her like an old friend.

Pulling myself back to the present, I took her hand with grace.

The traditional vows didn't seem to fit the complexity of our relationship; we chose to write our own.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I swear to you that I will love and protect you for all of eternity- from the monsters under the bed to anything that may set out to hurt you. I will kiss you every morning, hold you every night, and keep you happy for all the hours in between. I promise that I will cherish you, care for you, and remain by your side. I promise that I will love you. Always." 

Venom pooled in her eyes, and she tightened her grip on my hands.

"Jasper Alan Whitlock, I have hated you, and I have loved you. I have run from you and relied on you, and never in my existence have you let me down. I swear to you that I will spend all of eternity showing you what that has meant to me. I will kiss you hello, goodbye, and every occasion in between. I will trust in you, love you, and remain by your side. I promise. Always."

When the pastor looked to us and asked for our promise, he didn't even finish his sentence before we both answered.

"I do."

"I do."

And then she became my wife. Not my first, but certainly my last; my one and my only- my everything.

"I love you, Mrs. Whitlock." I told her, kissing down her body.

"As I love you, Mr. Whitlock."

I was floating on emotions, nearly high from our combine happiness. Here I was: married, happy, and amazed- making love to my wife, Isabella Marie Whitlock.

Nothing could have been more amazing.

The result of a final fall from grace.

THE END


	22. A Final Message to My Readers

**Why wasn't there ever a sequel?**

That chapter of my life closed, and so did this story; I felt it best to allow you all to imagine the end yourselves.

**What happens to Bella and Jasper?**

They have their ups and downs, but they love each other and make it through it.

**What happens to Momo?**

Well, I move on and start writing other stories. Some are like this –my life spilled into fanfiction- and some are just happy-go-lucky little stories while others are dark and ominous. It depends on the day, honestly.

**What happens to US?**

You go read more of my writing or PM me and we'll chat!

I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

_**Forever and Eternally Yours,**_

:3 Momo


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